Dead Homer Society

“Congratulations, Simpson, you just fell for our sting and won yourself three months detention. There’s no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!” – Principal Skinner
“There’s not? Ya used me, Skinner! Ya used me!” – Groundskeeper Willie

“I’m telling you, the light would work better if it pointed out to sea.” – Lighthouse Guy
“Y’argh, shut up! I know what I’m doing! . . . Y’argh, I hate the sea, and everything in it.” – Captain McAllister

“That’s not fair, Nelson! They didn’t have the Killmatic 3000 back then.” – Bart Simpson
“Records from that era are spotty at best.” – Nelson Muntz

“Thirty cents off Shake N Bake. Homer!” – Marge Simpson
“We can spare it, Marge. We’ve been blessed.” – Homer Simpson

“Ach, ’tis no more than what God gave me, ya Puritan pukes!” – Groundskeeper Willie

“Why the crap do we have to go to church anyway?” – Bart Simpson
“You just answered your own question with that commode mouth! Besides, you kids need to learn morals and decency and how to love your fellow man.” – Marge Simpson
“And with flaming swords, the Aramites did pierce the eyes of their fellow men, and did feast on what flowed forth.” – Reverend Lovejoy

“You know, I was considering staying after school and helping teacher clean up.” – Bart Simpson
“Do you ever think anything you don’t say?” – Jessica Lovejoy