Posts Tagged ‘Black Widower

28
Dec
19

Quote of the Day

“We now return to the twenty-seventh annual Krusty the Klown Telethon for Motion Sickness.” – TV Announcer
“Timpani! . . . Woo-hoo! I love you people! I love my kids! Poor little guys, so tragic, so nauseous. You should see the bus they came to the studio in.” – Krusty the Klown

06
Jul
19

Quote of the Day

“Gee, if some snot nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out I’d find out where he lives and tear him a new belly button! Lousy snitch!” – Homer Simpson

08
Apr
19

Quote of the Day

“That MacGyver’s a genius.” – Selma Bouvier
“First of all, he’s not a genius. He’s an actor. And second, he’s not much of an actor.” – Sideshow Bob
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” – Selma Bouvier
“No, Selma, this is lying: That was a well plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch.” – Sideshow Bob

07
Apr
18

Quote of the Day

“Thank you, señor MacGyver. You’ve saved our village!” – Villager
“Don’t thank me. Thank the Moon’s gravitational pull.” – MacGyver

09
Apr
17

Quote of the Day

“Hey, weiner boy, where do you think you’re going?” – Homer Simpson

18
Jan
17

Quote of the Day

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“Do you know what prison is like for a lifelong conservative Republican? In our overcrowded cell, we became little more than beasts. . . . Who used my chapstick?” – Sideshow Bob
“Oh, I did. Here you go.” – Prisoner
“I don’t want it.” – Sideshow Bob

09
Apr
16

Quote of the Day

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“Now, about your wedding dress, I’m not sure how to put this…” – Marge Simpson
“White!” – Selma Bouvier
“White.” – Marge Simpson

13
Jan
16

Quote of the Day

Black Widower13

“I don’t know what to say.” – Patty Bouvier
“Just tell me what you know I want to hear.” – Selma Terwilliger
“I’m dying of jealousy.” – Patty Bouvier
“Thank you.” – Selma Terwilliger

03
Aug
15

Quote of the Day

Black Widower12

“Welcome to our video honeymoon.  We’re using the video camera Cousin Doug gave us, and the video cassette Homer gave us.” – Selma Terwilliger
“Hey, and after we watch this, we can tape over it!” – Homer Simpson

09
Apr
15

Quote of the Day

Black Widower11

“A . . . D . . . Q . . . 7 . . .” – Hans Moleman
“Close enough.  May you drive safely and find true love.” – Selma Bouvie

10
Dec
14

Quote of the Day

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“I’m the only single girl left in the family. . . . Well, I guess it could be worse.” – Patty Bouvier

29
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

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“I could’ve been the flower girl.  And I wouldn’t keep falling down either.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, they chose Maggie, okay?” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah, well if you want to go for cutesyness instead of competence, fine.” – Lisa Simpson

11
Dec
13

Quote of the Day

Black Widower8

“Selma, this wedding is spinning out of control.  Can we really afford it?  I’ve already run through eight of the ten dollars they gave me when I left prison.” – Sideshow Bob
“Hey, relax, I told you, I got money.  I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled.” – Selma Bouvier
“Selma, that’s wonderful!” – Sideshow Bob

02
May
13

Quote of the Day

Happy Family

“What a beautiful story, Sideshow Bob.  You’re living proof that our revolving door prison system works.” – Lisa Simpson

09
Apr
12

Bonus Quote of the Day

Black Widower7

“Oh, would you two knock it off?  I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it’s no big deal.  You know why?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Selma Bouvier
“Go on.” – Sideshow Bob
“Whenever Marge puts on one of her non-violent programs, I take a walk, I go to a bar, I pound a few, and I stumble home in the mood for love.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Black Widower”!  Original airdate 9 April 1992.

24
Jan
12

“The Great Louse Detective” Makes Baby Jesus Cry

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“This is one more Emmy than you’ll ever win you bantering jack-in-the-box!” – Sideshow Bob
“Just don’t drop that thing in the shower, Bob.” – Krusty the Klown
No talent shill!” – Sideshow Bob
Second banana!” – Krusty the Klown
Panderer!” – Sideshow Bob
Bore!” – Krusty the Klown

This was a very above-average commentary by the standards of Season 14. In this case it actually helped that they had a lot more guys than usual because there’s only a few times when no one’s talking at all. It also helps that this is a Sideshow Bob episode, which gives them plenty of excuses to bring up old episodes and other (mostly) unrelated stories. To be sure, there are still lots of tangents and the occasional moment where you can tell they aren’t real proud of what’s going on, but for the most part they did seem to enjoy both the episode and commenting on it.

The episode itself is still terrible, of course. It doesn’t make sense, involves a lot of bad slapstick and action, and tries to make up for that with unrelenting hyperactivity. This includes Sideshow Bob getting repeatedly electrocuted, a blatant piece of musical filler at the end, and lots of fake tension and suspense. The main plot concludes with a stilt chase because, you know, stilts.

Eleven (eventually twelve) guys on this one, including Castellaneta and Groening, the latter of whom might have said ten words the entire time.

0:35 – The whole idea here was for Sideshow Bob to not be the criminal. But it’s getting harder for them to come up with things for him that aren’t just “straight out murder”. There haven’t been a lot of Bob episodes since this one.

2:00 – David Silverman talks about how the original design of Bob was non-descript because he was just Krusty’s silent, background sidekick. Brad Bird spiced it up after hearing Kelsey Grammer’s voice for “Krusty Gets Busted”.

3:30 – Silence broken by uncomfortable laughter as Homer is in a steam room with a naked Rainier Wolfcastle.

4:30 – Here’s a perfect moment of Zombie Simpsons commentary. Jean invites Steven Dean Moore to talk about how he did the animation for the door of the sauna. While he’s doing that we see Homer’s badly desiccated body collapse out of the room. That part doesn’t get mentioned.

5:15 – Long silence here broken by a discussion of whether or not this is a real Sideshow Bob episode and how FOX often has slightly misleading ads for what the episode is about. The time they billed the episode as “The Simpsons are going Canada!” but only had about two minutes of Canada in it is mentioned as another example.

6:00 – Long tangential discussion about “Silence of the Lambs” and whether or not real criminals are used to catch other criminals like they’re doing here. This gets to other movies and prison snitches quickly.

6:40 – Long silence broken by Jean asking why Sideshow Bob’s skin is a lighter color. Nobody seems sure other than, “that’s probably how Brad did it”.

7:00 – Generic praise for Grammer as a guest voice.

7:30 – That leads to an interesting note from Silverman, that for “Black Widower” he added more mouth shapes for Bob because of Grammer’s nuanced pronunciation.

8:00 – And we’re off on a tangent about other guest voices and celebrities they’ve made fun of. The widow of Mr. Rogers apparently once ran into Jean and knew they’d made fun of her husband.

8:50 – They were still talking about Mrs. Rogers when someone broke in to talk about the episode (pointing out that they’re referencing “Krusty Gets Busted”) and it took them a second to stop interrupting each other. It was actually surprising that someone wanted to talk about what’s going on. Ha.

9:30 – Laughing about the first open appearance of Frank Grimes Jr., the real villain here.

10:10 – Jean: “The Simpsons are awfully friendly with a man who chased Bart around with a machete.” Meanwhile, Bart is needlessly electrocuting Bob.

10:30 – Guys keep laughing every time a character comes up and whacks a Homer dummy Bob set up. A lot of the time on things like this the laughter sounds nervous or forced, but they really seem to think this is hilarious. Can’t say I agree, but these are always better to listen to when they’re having fun.

11:15 – Boredom sets in again quickly though as someone wonders why Moe’s sometimes has a pool table and sometimes doesn’t.

12:30 – Not much is happening so they’re talking about the song at the end of this episode. These days they have a harder time getting song parodies cleared.

13:00 – I guess they got nominated for an Emmy with that song. Someone remembers peeing in the men’s room with Alf Clausen after they lost. It’s actually funny.

13:30 – Now it’s time for more Emmy tales. Apparently that year if you went to the bathroom they wouldn’t let you back into the auditorium.

14:40 – Tim Long just showed up, so that puts us to twelve guys.

15:15 – Homer’s on a parade float now, and they’re mentioning the usual difficulty of animating crowds.

15:50 – Now they’re talking about a crowd scene in the movie. Homer’s running people over on his parade float, but that doesn’t come up.

16:30 – Laughing about “The Museum of Swordfish”.

17:00 – Long silence as Bob, Duffman and the Duff Blimp save Homer.

17:40 – Interesting tidbit here as everyone’s ignoring the stupid chase scene that’s happening. They had a lot of trouble with pullouts (i.e. zooming back from a shot) when they switched to digital color because it made the thickness of the lines go screwy so it didn’t look like it was the same drawing. They prefer to do cuts.

18:15 – Silence broken when everyone laughs at Homer’s inability to remember Frank Grimes.

18:30 – They do a flashback to “Homer’s Enemy”, and talk a little about how you can see the difference between the animation from Season 8 to Season 14.

19:00 – Mostly silence here, with the brief mention of “Homer’s Enemy”.

19:30 – Now we’re back to more typical desultory laughter.

20:00 – Sideshow Bob’s trying to stab Bart now. Jean’s laughing because no matter how many of these they’ve done it never is the last one.

20:30 – And now they’re discussing the next Bob episode. Meanwhile, Bob is singing and no one’s paying attention.

21:30 – They’ve spent the last minute telling unrelated stories.

22:00 – The original ending was going to be Bob getting hit by rakes as he leaves the Simpsons’ yard. They decided against it.

22:20 – And we end on them joking about being in a sauna like at the beginning of the episode.

06
Dec
11

Quote of the Day

Black Widower5

“Chief Wiggum, you’ve been around.  You don’t trust Sideshow Bob, do you?” – Bart Simpson
“Aw, lighten up, son, if he was gonna commit a crime, would he have invited the number one cop in town?  Now, where did I put my gun?  Oh yeah, I set it down when I got a piece of cake.” – Chief Wiggum

04
Oct
11

Quote of the Day

Black Widower4

“I share an apartment with my twin sister.  Enclosed is a photo of us on a tandem bike, I forget which one I am.” – Selma Bouvier

30
Jun
11

Quote of the Day

Convenience Store

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Eric Kilby.

“Selma, this wedding is spinning out of control.  Can we really afford it?  I’ve already run through eight of the ten dollars they gave me when I left prison.” – Sideshow Bob
“Hey, relax, I told you, I got money.  I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled.” – Selma Bouvier

28
Feb
11

Compare & Contrast: Mocking Awards Shows

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“You know the rules, awards for excellence in entertainment are contraband, no Emmys, no Oscars, not even a Golden Globe.” – Prison Guard

One of the more revealing ineptitudes of “Angry Dad: The Movie” is the way it fails to copy not one, but two different Simpsons episodes that did the exact same thing it did.  (This is particularly stunning coming from a show that loves repeating jokes and unabashedly lives off of fan nostalgia.)  Of course, both of those older episodes did things much quicker, and managed to actually mock the kidding-but-serious way awards shows take themselves and their participants.  I am speaking of both the Emmys in “Black Widower” and the generic (but Emmy statue lookalike) Annual Cartoon Awards in “The Front” (which are awarded at the Springfield Civic Center the night before it’s closed for roach spraying).

In “Black Widower”, Krusty comes out to present the award for “Best Supporting Performer in a Children’s Program”.  Right there, the show is already making fun of the uselessness of the Daytime Emmys by creating a nonexistent, but not implausible, category for sidekicks.  Taking the whole enterprise one level further into satiric silliness, Krusty reads a list of the enjoyably wacky nominees:

Daytime Emmy Nominees

Clockwise from top left: Droopy Drawers, Colonel Coward, Pepito (the Biggest Cat in the Whole Wide World), and Suck Up the Vacuum

None of those four characters merit too much attention, but each gets his (its?) own little moment of personality.  We see the improbably hot companion of Droopy Drawers reassuringly pat him on the hand.  Colonel Coward freaks out from nerves just a little bit, and Pepito waves like the good natured mascot he is.  Suck Up, who looks more than a little terrifying and can’t possibly be human, is too good to attend this complete sham.  The entire thing takes only ten seconds before the main plot resumes.

Despite not containing much more content than a vacuum cleaner in Spain, none of the plodding parodies in “Angry Dad: The Movie”  move nearly as quickly.  It’s not even close:

  • “The Triplets of Belleville” takes about forty seconds.
  • “Persepolis” is also forty seconds.
  • “Toy Story” managed to be only thirty seconds (but certainly felt longer).
  • “Wallace & Gromit” was sixty-five seconds (as in more than a minute!).
  • “Angry Dad” was a comparatively tame twenty seconds. 

That’s five clips, totaling well over three minutes of screen time, in an episode that’s barely twenty minutes long.  And that doesn’t even count Halle Berry’s part.  For comparison’s sake, please note that the College Humor video of the McBain clips, which the killjoys at FOX legal have already taken down (shhh, reverse Spanish version), was only slightly longer, and it was from five separate episodes over three seasons.

In “The Front” almost the exact same thing – awards show presentation with clips and a celebrity voice – is done in a small fraction of the time.  Brooke Shields and Krusty come out so Krusty can read the terrible joke about his hair, the kind of thing that awards shows still trot out to this day.  He instantly goes off script and starts bitching while Shields gamely plays it straight.  Once he storms off the episode goes right to the parodies.  First is “Strondar: Master of Akom”, the “wedding episode”:

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Does it takes forty seconds to parody He-Man?  No, no it does not.  It requires less than five seconds and gives us Not He-Man, in his formal S&M gear, tugging nervously at his Chippendales-style bowtie choker.  That goes immediately to “Action Figure Man”, the “How to Buy Action Figure Man” episode:

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This one is really amazing, because it takes only a few words and a couple of seconds but manages to send up pretty much the entire genre of children’s cartoons, including the incessant merchandising that makes them so very lucrative and the way shameless marketing is used to get kids to basically extort their own parents.  The final “clip” is the only one they didn’t make up themselves but, once again, they didn’t need half a minute to make a quick joke about the fact that new episodes of The Ren & Stimpy Show were less than forthcoming at the time.

From the time Shields introduces the first clip until we get to “Barbershop of Horrors” takes less than thirty seconds.  The whole sequence, from Krusty and Shields walking on stage to Grampa winning the award, is only ninety seconds.  Zombie Simpsons takes three and a half minutes to complete the same thing, and that’s before you get to the respective acceptance speeches.  In “The Front”, Grampa immediately launches into his anti-cartoon tirade without a moment of hesitation.  For his candor he is pelted with fruit thrown by people in formalwear.  In “Angry Dad: The Movie”, Bart launches into a tedious monologue about how many people he needs to thank, and is then joined on stage by Homer for some wrap up exposition.

Parodying famous cartoons like “Toy Story” and “Wallace & Gromit” is a fine thing for a show like Zombie Simpsons to try to do.  But trotting out so many of them for so very long means they’re going to feel like filler, even if they had been packed with insightful humor.  “The Front” could’ve dragged its parodies out, but instead it kept them short and funny, and in doing so left itself time for its own little short, “The Adventures of Ned Flanders”.

[Edited 1 March 2010 to change “Vacom” to “Akom”, see comments for details.]




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