Posts Tagged ‘Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?

12
Sep
18

Quote of the Day

“My baby translator!” – Herb Powell
“Ooooh.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, you don’t have to humor me.” – Herb Powell
“Well, it’s pretty ingrained.” – Marge Simpson

19
Jun
18

Quote of the Day

“Before you begin, let me make one thing clear to you: I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me you’re all vipers! You live on personal injury! You live on divorces! You live on pain and misery! . . . But I’m rambling. Anybody want any coffee?” – C.M. Burns
“I’ll have some coffee.” – Blue Haired Lawyer
“Want it black, don’t you? Black like your heart? It’s so hard for me to listen to you! I hate you all so much! . . . I’m sorry, it’s my problem. I’ll deal with it.” – C.M. Burns

14
Dec
17

Quote of the Day

“I bet you’re all wondering what lies under this sheet.” – Herb Powell
“Not really. We peeked inside while you were in the john.” – Bart Simpson
“Well, here it is again.” – Herb Powell

27
Aug
17

Quote of the Day

“Herb, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe we blew two thousand bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?” – Herb Powell
“I’ll try, but I can’t.” – Homer Simpson

09
Sep
16

DHS on the Road

brother-can-you-spare-two-dimes20

“I’m tellin’ ya, all a man needs is an idea, and I’ve got an idea!” – Herb Powell
“Then how come you’re still a bum?” – Hobo
“Alright, a man needs two things: an idea and money to get it off the ground.” – Herb Powell

NOTE: Brooklyn October Simpsons Trivia here I (hopefully) come!

With the exception of some specific memories of the show and occasionally referring to my backbreaking, mind numbing labor, I try to keep my personal life off of this blog. Dave, Mad Jon, and myself started this as a Simpsons site, and even though I’ve gradually all but taken it over like some kind of not giving up school guy, I can’t make this a 100% pure Simpsons space. I like the idea of that in theory, but in theory communism works.

In stupid reality, which we all have to face again sooner or later, my real job has slowly eroded out from underneath me. Where once there was a prosperous Flancrest Enterprises, now there is but a roughed up and near destitute CompuGlobal Hyper Mega Net.* The bad news is that my personal finances are now in such a state that dying in the gutter is almost the only thing that is practical and within my means. The good news is that we have so few customers and potential customers left that I can throw off the shackles of the work-a-day world and follow a dream, of sorts.

(*Incidentally, this site owes its existence to the 2008 crash that crippled our business. Our sudden lack of customers gave me a lot more free time, and instead of taking up smoking, I pestered my friends into starting this site with me. As much fun as it’s been, I still really wish that cardboard cutout of George Bush Junior had never run for President.)

Donald Trump’s America isn’t going to last long, barely enough time for a half chewed piece of fish to hit the ground. I’m going to spend the  weeks between now and its November 8th landing observing the human peep show that is America’s political life. Since I haven’t deposited any forty-thousand dollar checks that haven’t cleared yet, I will be doing this on the utmost cheap, by bicycle and mostly sleeping in a tent.

Click here if you’re interested in my ideas, wish to subscribe to my newsletter, or just want to understand what the hell it is I’m doing on my little adventure. Truth be told, I’m not entirely sure; but the most likely outcome is that it will be just another detached piece of modern alienation. If you want to stalk me like Lenny and Carl, there’s also my oft neglected personal Twitter feed.

As for what’s going to happen on DHS, the Quotes of the Day will still have a home here, but we will also also learn about nutrition, self esteem, etiquette, and all the lively arts. I’ve also learned in recent weeks that once I’ve been on the bike for an hour or two, I don’t have any heavy head to carry anymore and can watch Simpsons episodes with a vile burlesque of irrepressible glee. Hopefully there will be a lot more of the sweet, beautiful, oxygen deprived drunk talk that informed my recent ramblings about “Lisa’s Substitute” a few weeks back, which I wrote fifty miles into a sixty mile ride.

Beyond that, I’m hopeful that my route will take me to the C.H.U.D. infested hellhole of New York City for Classic Simpsons Trivia on October 6th. Trying being the first step towards failure, I can’t promise that I’ll be there, but I promise that I’ll try to try. In the meantime, keep watching the skis.

(This may all backfire on me like a trip to a gay steel mill, but since I have no choice, I’m taking the alley.)

27
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

BigVirile

“Is this the one with the lazy sperm?” – C.M. Burns
“Mmm-hmm.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, Simpson! You big, virile son of a gun!” – C.M. Burns

Sorry for the late quote.

27
Aug
15

Quote of the Day

Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes19

“Well, I used to own a successful car company.  My strategy was giving ’em Japanese names.  You guys ever drive a Tempura hatchback?” – Herb Powell
“Oh, yeah.” – Bum #1
“Sure.” – Bum #2
“Yeah, I got hit by one of those.” – Bum #3




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