Dead Homer Society

“Watch me blend in. . . . Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer for me and my buddy here.” – C.M. Burns

“Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose, Smithers, we’re going in.” – C.M. Burns

“Sir, I feel there’s something you’re not telling me. Perhaps you’d feel more comfortable talking to Snappy the Alligator.” – Mr. Smithers
“Maybe.” – C.M. Burns
“Hello, Mr. Burns.” – Snappy the Alligator

“You’re going down, my friend.” – C.M. Burns
“Yes, sir, Mr. Burns.” – Boxer

“C’mon, everybody! It makes you feel better.” – Bart Simpson

“Hey, wait’ll you see Lenny. He just got back from the plastic surgeon.” – Charlie
“Jeez, Lenny, looks like you got the works.” – Carl
“Well, it started out as an eye tuck, but the stock kept going up!” – Lenny

“Whatever happens, we’ll pay the bills somehow.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, it’s not the money. My job is my identity! If I’m not a safety whatchamajigger, I’m nothing!” – Homer Simpson

Edited to add: no Reading Digest today. I’m going out of town for the weekend and won’t have time to get to it before I leave. Sorry.