Posts Tagged ‘Colonel Homer



08
Sep
11

Quote of the Day

Buddy Holly

Image yoinked from Wikipedia.

“This studio has a lot of history.  Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said, ‘There is no way in hell that I’m gonna record in this dump’.” – Hicksville U.S.A. Studio Guy

10
Apr
11

Quote of the Day

Colonel Homer5

“Oh, Homer, you’re as smart as you are handsome.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“Hey! . . . Oh, you meant that as a compliment.” – Homer Simpson

16
Feb
11

Quote of the Day

Colonel Homer4

“Hey Moe, you got any Fudd?” – Homer Simpson
“Fudd?  I thought they took that off the market after all those hillbillies went blind.” – Moe

12
May
10

Quote of the Day

Something in Return

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user yoppy.

“Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without, you know, wanting something in return.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“Well, I was going to ask you for a glass of water but now I feel kinda guilty about it.” – Homer Simpson

08
Apr
10

EXCLUSIVE: Zombie Simpsons Couch Gag Preview! (Updated)

“Marge, I have always carried myself with a certain quiet dignity, tonight you robbed me of it.” – Homer Simpson

Only at Dead Homer Society, you can see the exclusive, sneak peak, first look, WORLD PREMIER of the couch gag for the May 2 Zombie Simpsons episode “To Surveil, With Love”:

Presumably they will animate it before it airs.

I wish I were kidding, but this morning reader Alex wrote in and tipped us off to this latest Zombie Simpsons nadir.  Behold, the press release from hell:

Don’t miss a note of “FOX Rocks,” a week of music-themed episodes kicking off Thursday, April 29 and airing through Wednesday, May 5.  Throughout the rockin’ week, FOX’s primetime series – including BONES, FRINGE, HOUSE, GLEE, THE SIMPSONS, THE CLEVELAND SHOW, FAMILY GUY, THE WANDA SYKES SHOW and AMERICAN IDOL – will feature a variety of musical elements.

[…]

THE SIMPSONS (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) – “To Surveil, With Love”

During a special musical couch gag, SIMPSONS characters sing along to Ke$ha’s smash hit “TiK ToK.”

Zombie Simpsons is farming out the couch gag.  Apparently they thought someone else could come up with a humorless, over-animated montage just  as good as theirs.  Or they breathed a sigh of relief when they realized this would help kill a few more precious seconds of screen time.  Either way, less work for them!  By the way, as of this writing, “Tik Tok” is #9 on the Billboard pop chart, down from #5 last week.  So, once again, Zombie Simpsons has missed its chance to be topical. 

Taking a step back, what we have here is a couch gag used to promote a hit song that was put out by an artist who (as far as we know) isn’t a guest voice, and all timed to coincide with FOX’s little musical week.  Didn’t this show used to pride itself on its lack of network interference?  I have imaginary friends who have more integrity than Zombie Simpsons. 

By the way, I’m setting the over/under on length for this little program-linked-advertisement at 40.5 seconds. 

Update at 5:07pm EDT: And the hits just keep on coming.  Via Alex’s Twitter feed I see that “American Idol” will be gracing Zombie Simpsons on May 23rd for the season finale.  I guess that advertisement for “24” they passed off as an episode a few years ago is considered such a classic that they decided to do it again.  Though, given the relative ratings for “American Idol” and Zombie Simpsons, it seems like this is more of a favor to Zombie Simpsons than from them. 

03
Apr
10

Quote of the Day

Colonel Homer3

“All our money’s tied up in this woman.  If she fails, we’re broke.  If she succeeds, I have no husband.  I don’t know what to root for.” – Marge Simpson
“You don’t?” – Patty Bouvier

15
Dec
09

Crazy noises: O Brother Where Bart Thou?

Colonel Homer2

“If you don’t watch the violence you’ll never get desensitized to it.” – Bart Simpson
“Just tell me when the scary part’s over.” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s over.” – Bart Simpson
“Ahhhhhhhh!” – Lisa Simpson

In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21.  Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “tased”).

South Park once did an episode titled “Simpsons Already Did It” where, amongst other things, they made fun of the fact that The Simpsons had been on forever and was now resorting to ideas that were less than clever.  That was seven years ago.  This week Zombie Simpsons had its own little “South Park” sequence.  It didn’t have much to do with anything (why Bart would ever take advice from Ralph is beyond me), but it did serve to highlight just how many jokes, scenes and sequences in this episode were either reminiscent, cribbed, or outright recycled from previous episodes.  We discuss a number of those below but we forgot to mention the whole Kama Sutra thing which, like so many others in this episode, took way too long and made no sense. 

Mad Jon: Anyway. I just watched last night’s episode.

Charlie Sweatpants: Ouch, wanna start with that one while the trauma is still fresh?

Mad Jon: Works for me.

Dave: I re-watched it

That’s how much I liked it

Mad Jon: Masochist eh?

Dave: That’s me!

Mad Jon: That’s cool. To each their own.

Charlie Sweatpants: Was anything particularly worse on a second viewing?

Dave: Nah, nothing jumped out. It was as unremarkable tonight as it was last night.

Mad Jon: Unremarkable is pretty on the nose.

Dave: The writers seem to be forgetting that the show’s supposed to be funny.

Mad Jon: It didn’t make me cringe like the Zombies usually do, but I may just be desensitized.

Charlie Sweatpants: Unremarkable is a good way to put it. With the exception of the completely unnecessary and pointless South Park thing I don’t think anyone’s going to remember this one a week from now.

Mad Jon: On the other hand, I, per usual didn’t even crack a smile.

Dave: I did, admittedly, when Chief Wiggum was tased

Mad Jon: I almost did at the weather report, but then they took it too far. Always too far.

Charlie Sweatpants: When they do come up with a kinda good idea they seem so surprised that they just feel the need to run it right into the ground.

Mad Jon: I think the writers look at jokes the way I looked at chemistry experiments in high school.

Charlie Sweatpants: I thought the horse thing at the beginning had some potential, but then it just dragged and dragged. And if there is one man on Earth who knows how to work a remote control properly, it is Homer Simpson.

But no, they needed to fill time so all of a sudden he doesn’t know how to change the channel?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Dave: Don’t forget the montages. They seem to be the thing to do this season.

Mad Jon: He does have the male anatomy surmised in the most efficient way possible.

It’s too bad that became a plot point.

Charlie Sweatpants: Bingo.

That a ten year old boy – any ten year old boy – doesn’t know he can pee on things is just too damned dumb.

And, as is Zombie Simpsons want, they got them into a "dangerous" situation with lots of the horns of suspense and string music of sadness, that really wasn’t the least bit dangerous.

Mad Jon: And the Mannings showed up too.

Don’t forget the Mannings

Charlie Sweatpants: And the Smothers Brothers for some reason.

Mad Jon: They even brought the disease riddled one.

And played keep away from him. I don’t know how that makes me feel…

Dave: Dirty?

Hungry?

Angry?

Mad Jon: Gassy. Definitely Gassy.

Charlie Sweatpants: The dream sequence was just awful. The one from "Bart Sells His Soul" was half as long, had twice as many jokes and was about a hundred times less forced.

Mad Jon: I forgot it was a dream sequence until one of the characters reminded me.

Charlie Sweatpants: I was sort of hoping the whole thing was a bad dream until I woke up this morning and the internet informed that it really did happen.

Mad Jon: Snappy comeback.

Charlie Sweatpants: I know we were on about this a few weeks ago when Bart was trying to make that other prankster guy a respectable citizen, but I mean, this character isn’t even Bart Simpson any more.

He’s whiny, and sad, and cares about things that a rebellious ten year old would never care about.

Trying to get Marge and Homer to have another kid? What the hell was that about?

Mad Jon: And he played ‘dress-up’ to spend some quality time with his sisters….

Dave: Whiny, sad, rebellious… like most of today’s teens?

Mad Jon: You ever do that with your sisters Charlie?

Charlie Sweatpants: Being jealous of Lisa and Maggie because they were having a fashion show? What the hell?

Mad Jon: Oooh bold type

Charlie Sweatpants: I can assure you that I never played dress up with my sisters.

Dave: Charlie just serioused.

Charlie Sweatpants: And it’s easy to do bold, all you’ve gotta do is put * around the text and gchat takes care of it for you.

Mad Jon: I know, but you so rarely do it. You’re either very passionate about the subject, or you’ve put a good dent in your daily rum ration.

Charlie Sweatpants: Can’t it be both?

Mad Jon: Something told me it was.

Charlie Sweatpants: Zombie Simpsons is always playing up this absolutely awful angle of Bart’s character where deep down he’s this sensitive kid and I cannot think of anything that makes any less sense for him, or that could be more diametrically opposed to what made him a popular character in the first place.

Mad Jon: Yeah!

Sorry, I’ve also put a dent in my rations

Charlie Sweatpants: I’d also like to point out that not only did they ape South Park openly, but South Park had an episode where Kenny tried to prevent his parents from having another kid, which not only would make more sense but was considerably funnier.

Dave: I vaguely remember that episode.

Mad Jon: Excellent episode. Not like this one, this one is shit.

I especially liked Kenny’s note to the pharmacist.

And what the hell was with Nelson’s mood swings? Does the pill do that to people?

Dave: Having never taken the pill I have no clue.

Mad Jon: I thought it helped to regulate that crap.

Charlie Sweatpants: No, it’s more along the lines of "ohhh he’s a woman now so he’s moody."

Mad Jon: Well that’s pretty lame.

Dave: LOL now he’s a chick

chicks r funny

Charlie Sweatpants: Celia in comments pointed it out first, but yeah it was dumb.

There’s a Comedy 101 failure: role reversal is supposed to be funny.

Mad Jon: yeah, but does that apply to putting a woman in the body of a 10 year old?

Charlie Sweatpants: It could. But all they did was have Nelson show up at random moments and spout cliches that "Friends" thought were hackneyed a dozen years ago.

Mad Jon: I think this is like a Comedy 091 failure. Like the one I suffered at the community college a few years back.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar bashing young man!

Okay, I’m getting done with this one. There’s just one more thing I’d like to cover and that is the unusually rampant, even by Zombie Simpson standards, of joke recycling.

Mad Jon: Go on.

Was it the “you had me at five course” joke?

I think that one has been around a bit

Charlie Sweatpants: The tic tacs as birth control thing was the worst, but there was also the utter and massive FAIL of the school closing report (which took forever) and the useless return of the Plow King.

Mad Jon: Oh yeah, The Plow King came back. And with only 3 days ’till retirement. What a tragedy.

Dave: It was pointless fan service

Charlie Sweatpants: Plus during the orphanage scene I couldn’t help but think of when Homer went to the Bigger Brothers agency and there was the scene at the movies. Back in "Colonel Homer" Bart told Lisa the scary parts were over just as they were beginning to help get her desensitized, which is hilarious. This time the kid gets scared and Bart feels bad? Fuck off, Zombie Simpsons.

Mad Jon: The End.

25
Sep
09

Quote of the Day

Colonel Homer1

“Now this is made from a space age fabric developed especially for Elvis, sweat actually cleans this suit.” – Corpulent Cowboy Salesman

17
Feb
09

Quote of the Day

“Forget it pal, they don’t call me Colonel Homer because I’m some dumb ass army guy.” – Homer Simpson



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