Posts Tagged ‘Doris Grau


Quote of the Day

“And here’s country singing sensation Lurleen Lumpkin, fresh from her latest stay at the Betty Ford Clinic. Whatcha been up to, Lurleen?” – Kent Brockman
“I spent last night in a ditch.” – Lurleen Lumpkin

Doris Grau would’ve been 95 today. Happy birthday.


Quote of the Day

“Now I’d like to introduce you to Lunchlady Doris who will serve you healthy, nutritious meals.” – Principal Skinner
“Yeah, right.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 93 today. Happy birthday.


Quote of the Day


“Basic ceremony’s twenty bucks, here’s your license. Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding’s on the house!” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist
“Hey, this marriage is gonna last forever!” – Homer Simpson
“Haha, no matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh.” – Shotgun Pete’s Receptionist

Doris Grau would’ve been 92 today. Happy birthday.


Quote of the Day


“Hey, man, if the line’s this long, it’s gotta be good.” – Bart Simpson
“Get bent.” – Complaints Window Lady

Doris Grau would’ve been 91 today.  Happy birthday!


Quote of the Day


“Lunchlady Doris, have you got any grease?” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Yes.  Yes, we do.” – Lunchlady Doris
“Then grease me up, woman!” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Okie-dokie.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 90 today. Happy birthday!


Quote of the Day

Like Father, Like Clown7

“Are you kids ready to order, yet?” – Izzy’s Waitress
“Sorry, no, just get us another bowl of complimentary pickles.” – Bart Simpson
“Watch how fast I go.” – Izzy’s Waitress

Happy Birthday Doris Grau!  (She would’ve been 89 today.) 


Quote of the Day

Bunly Goodness

“Excuse me, isn’t there anything here that doesn’t have meat in it?” – Lisa Simpson
“Possibly the meatloaf.” – Lunchlady Doris
“Well, I believe you’re required to provide a vegetarian alternative.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yum.  It’s rich in bunly goodness.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 88 today.  Happy Birthday!


Quote of the Day

Special Holiday Meal

“Where do you want these beef hearts?” – U.S. Surplus Delivery Guy
“On the floor.” – Lunchlady Doris
“It doesn’t look very clean.” – U.S. Surplus Delivery Guy
“Just do your job, heart boy.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 87 today.  Happy Birthday.


Quote of the Day


“Hey brush-head, you’ve been nursing that thing for an hour.” – Ice Cream Lady
“You know, I was just wondering how someone who works in an ice cream store keeps such a trim
figure.” – Bart Simpson
“I’ve misjudged you.” – Ice Cream Lady

Doris Grau would’ve been 86 today, happy birthday. 


Quote of the Day

Treehouse of Horror V1

“Don’t bitch to me boss man.  Thanks to the latest budget cuts I’m down to using Grade F meat.” – Lunchlady Doris

Doris Grau would’ve been 85 today.  Happy Birthday.


Zombie Simpsons and Zombie Doris

Lisa vs Malibu Stacy1

“I can feel death’s clammy hand on my shoulder!  Wait, that’s my hand.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

This list is a pretty impressive display of Simpsons trivia.  It’s real deaths of real people that changed the way The Simpsons went.  Doris Grau and Phil Hartman I knew about, but the other four were news to me.  Go read the whole thing, it’s quite good.

This deserves special notice as a further illustration of how horrifyingly soulless Zombie Simpsons truly is:

Doris Grau died from lung cancer (who could have guessed?) on December 30, 1995, a scant eight days before the aforementioned “Team Homer” aired. The episode was dedicated to her memory and the character of Lunchlady Doris was retired out of respect…until 2006, when “The Simpsons” was so desperate to be good again they let Tress MacNeille take a crack at Doris’s smokey voice.

Zombie Simpsons brought back Lunchlady Doris in 2006?  They are fucking evil, no two ways about it.

Everyone should love Doris Grau.  In addition to Lunchlady Doris she also voiced regular Doris on The Critic and was one of the nice old Jewish ladies who ran Eddie Murphy for Congress in The Distinguished Gentlemen:

(Skip to the 6:20 mark and you can see her make an Alzheimer’s joke and scold Murphy in Yiddish.)


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