Dead Homer Society

“Yep, so because of me, all the dorms now have security phones.” – Homer Simpson

“When I was your age I was a hell raiser, too. My slingshot was my cross. But I saw the light and changed my wicked ways!” – Brother Faith
“I figure I’ll go for the life of sin followed by the presto-change-o deathbed repentance.” – Bart Simpson
“Wow, that’s a good angle. . . . But that’s not God’s angle!” – Brother Faith

“A&M is gonna kick your ivy covered butts!” – Carl
“Yeah, well you went to a cow college!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, you’re only calling us a cow college cause we was founded by a cow.” – Lenny

“Lisa, ham hock? Tri-tip?” – Homer Simpson
“Do we have any food that wasn’t brutally slaughtered?” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, I think the veal might’ve died of loneliness.” – Homer Simpson

“Finally, a chance to relive my golden college years.” – Homer Simpson
“Dad, you only took one course.” – Lisa Simpson
“Remember my love affair with Ali McGraw? She used to call me preppy. Then she died.” – Homer Simpson

“Excuse me, neighbor, I couldn’t help but notice you picked pretty much all my flowers.” – Ned Flanders
“Can’t make a float without flowers.” – Homer Simpson
“True enough.  But did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?” – Ned Flanders

“You’re the miracle boy with the healing hands, arghhn’t ya?” – Captain McAllister
“Nah, I don’t do that anymore.” – Bart Simpson
“So I guess I’ll have to see someone else about my crippling depression.” – Captain McAllister