Dead Homer Society

“You are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery.

“Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier’s head off.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“There’s an interesting behind this nickle. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three, medium brown…” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Expired ham? Oh, this time I’ve gone too far. No. No one will fall for-” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Woo-hoo! Cheap meat! Ooh, this one’s open.” – Homer Simpson

“That’s a good price for twelve pounds of nutmeg.” – Marge Simpson
“Great selection and rock bottom prices! But where is the love?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Attention Monstromart shoppers: just a reminder that we love each and every one of you.” – PA Announcer
“Awww.” – Customers

“Stop being such babies! You can’t be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I’m using a . . . Apu, what do you call this things again?” – Homer Simpson
“A napkin.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Hahahaha, outrageous!” – Homer Simpson

“No. I’ve killed her! It’s all happening again!” – Barney Gumble

“We’ve come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversize novelty hat. Now, go get us some incriminating footage. And remember: you have to get in and out in ten minutes or you’ll suffer permanent neck damage.” – Kent Brockman
“He’s not kidding.” – Previous Hat Wearer