Dead Homer Society

“Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier’s head off.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“There’s an interesting behind this nickle. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three, medium brown…” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Expired ham? Oh, this time I’ve gone too far. No. No one will fall for-” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Woo-hoo! Cheap meat! Ooh, this one’s open.” – Homer Simpson

“That’s a good price for twelve pounds of nutmeg.” – Marge Simpson
“Great selection and rock bottom prices! But where is the love?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Attention Monstromart shoppers: just a reminder that we love each and every one of you.” – PA Announcer
“Awww.” – Customers

“Stop being such babies! You can’t be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I’m using a . . . Apu, what do you call this things again?” – Homer Simpson
“A napkin.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Hahahaha, outrageous!” – Homer Simpson

“No. I’ve killed her! It’s all happening again!” – Barney Gumble

“We’ve come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversize novelty hat. Now, go get us some incriminating footage. And remember: you have to get in and out in ten minutes or you’ll suffer permanent neck damage.” – Kent Brockman
“He’s not kidding.” – Previous Hat Wearer

“At first I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“You’re selling what now?” – Homer Simpson
“I’m selling only the concept of karmic realignment.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“You can’t sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos!” – Homer Simpson
“He’s got me there.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon