Dead Homer Society

“I always wondered if there was a God. And now I know: there is. And it’s me.” – Homer Simpson

“Hey, Billy! Hey, Joey! Come on in! There’s plenty of room! Sorry, not you, Homer.” – Little Girl
“Why not?” – Homer Simpson
“But you let in Homer Glumplich.” – Homer Simpson
“Hyuck hyuck!” – Homer Glumplitch
“It says no Homers. We’re allowed to have one.” – Little Girl

“Why don’t people like me, Marge?” – Homer Simpson
“Everyone likes you, you’re a wonderful person.” – Marge Simpson
“Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?” – Homer Simpson

“I felt so left out.” – Homer Simpson
“Kids can be so cruel.” – Marge Simpson
“We can? Thanks, Mom!” – Bart Simpson
“Ow! Cut it out, Bart!” – Lisa Simpson

“Oh, for the love of God! Somebody get the jaws of life!” – Moe

“I saved your life! That egg sandwich could’ve killed you by cholesterol.” – Homer Simpson
“Forget it, Homer. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.” – Lenny
“So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, you got it all wrong, Homer. It’s not like that.” – Lenny
“You’d better run, egg!” – Homer Simpson

“Yeah, I probably won’t be able to get the parts I need for two, three weeks. And that’s if I order them today. Which I won’t.” – Stern Lecture Plumber