Posts Tagged ‘Homer the Smithers


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Welcome, welcome, welcome to an evening of exciting quarter mile action, action, action. Our first race is a benefit for daredevil Lance Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch! Who’s hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver!


Makeup Quote of the Day

“Mr. Burns, this was all my fault.” – Mr. Smithers
“Don’t concern yourself. If things had turned ugly, I always had my mace.” – C.M. Burns


Quote of the Day

“Uh, Mr. Smithers, I don’t understand 2700 of my new duties.” – Homer Simpson
“Well, the van’s leaving. Which one duty is giving you the most trouble?” – Mr. Smithers
“Um, what do I do in case of fire?” – Homer Simpson
“Sorry. Can’t hear you. Bye!” – Mr. Smithers
“Aww, just my luck.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Uh, hello. You have a help wanted sign on the window.” – Mr. Smithers
“Yeah, I need someone to help me with the midnight beer delivery. Your job is to distract Barney until it’s safely off the truck.” – Moe
“I’ll just wait out back until then.” – Mr. Smithers
“I look forward to working with you!” – Barney Gumble


Quote of the Day

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“I’ll have my lunch, now: a single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast, and a dodo egg.” – C.M. Burns
“But I think the dodo went extinct.” – Homer Simpson
“Get going! And answer those phones, install a computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay . . . um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Lousy two-legged pants.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day


“I’ll be fine!  I’m sure your replacement will be able to handle everything.  Who is he, anyway?” – C.M. Burns
“Homer Simpson, sir, one of your organ banks from sector 7-G.  All the recent events of your life have revolved around him in some way.” – Mr. Smithers
“Simpson, eh?” – C.M. Burns

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer the Smithers”! Original airdate 25 February 1996.


Quote of the Day

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“Welcome, welcome, welcome to an evening of exciting quarter mile action, action, action!  Our first race is a benefit for daredevil Lance Murdock, Murdock, Murdock, who’s hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver!” – Springfield Dragway Announcer


Quote of the Day

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“Smithers, this beer isn’t working.  I don’t feel any younger or funkier.” – C.M. Burns
“I’ll switch to the table spoon, sir.” – Mr. Smithers


Quote of the Day

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“This novelty foam hand is ludicrously oversized.  Go swap it for a smaller one.” – C.M. Burns
“It is a bit ostentatious, sir.  I’ll be right back.” – Mr. Smithers

Happy birthday Harry Shearer! 


Quote of the Day

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“We’re going to have to put a steel rod where your spine was.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Will I ever move a piano again?” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, my goodness gracious, no.” – Dr. Hibbert


Reading Digest: Harry Shearer Speaks Between the Lines Edition

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“What did Simpson do to you?” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, nothing other than drive me to distraction with his incompetent boobery.  Terrible at everything!  A complete moron . . . but I’m not really free to talk right now.” – C.M. Burns

Thanks to Freedom Day tomorrow, it’s a short week and nobody’s spent much of it on the internet, so this is a very short Reading Digest.  And since big holidays are always some of our lowest traffic moments of the year, I thought I’d bump it to today.   There’s the usual collection of usage, some fan made stuff, and a little graffiti, but my favorite link is the last one, with some wonderfully circumspect words from the man himself, Harry Shearer.


That Disastrous Car Homer Simpson Designed Was Actually Ahead of Its Time – This is a very misleading headline since most of the article explains how things in the Homer didn’t actually come true, but it’s a nice little comparison nonetheless.

Booze Geek News Special: Duff Beer To Launch Across The USA – Apparently, some kind of Duff is coming here to the States.  Also, this should give you an idea of how insanely convoluted this all is:

In Germany, a brewery in Hessen, brews a Duff Beer distributed in many European countries and in Australia from 2011. They applied for a trademark in Europe but were successfully opposed by Fox. Fox tried to establish their own Duff Beer trademark in Europe, but were ruled that a “Beer” logo applied exclusively to non-beer merchandise was misleading. But as a result of the German brand, in France they now have to blur out the “Duff” beer in the Simpsons cartoon so as not to advertise it.

Simpsons Trivia – Another fan of Classic Simpsons Trivia, this time in Vancouver.

“The Simpsons” Wasted My Youth: Top 15 Episodes, Pt. 1 (15-6) – Excellent list, with no Zombie Simpsons whatsoever and a .gif of Moleman getting hit by football.

WWLSR: Season 4-6 – More from the Lisa Simpson Reading project.

Illustrator Matt Gondek Exploding Homer Simpson Mural – It’s pretty cool.  You can see it and some others at his Instagram page.

Low-frills PEOPLExpress Airlines is back in the air after 27 years – Excellent reference:

PEOPLExpress, the iconic low-cost airline that Homer Simpson said brought air travel to hicks, is back in business 27 years after it folded, and once again flying out of Newark.

Domestic Violence Campaign Sees Your Favourite Cartoon Characters Battered And Bruised – The same guy who did those Kanye West and Kim Kardashian drawings a few weeks ago is back with Marge, Wilma Flintstone, and a few other famous cartoon women sporting bloody noses and black eyes.  I don’t know if this is effective in the least at reducing domestic violence, but it is kinda creepy.

Redeemer: The Life of Jimmy Carter, Part 1 – Excellent Jimmy Carter usage:

Without Marge’s famous marshmallow squares to sell, Springfield’s Beautify Our Parks Bake Sale falls short of its goal, forcing the town to purchase a statue of Jimmy Carter instead of Abraham Lincoln.  Furious, someone in the crowd cries, “He’s history’s greatest monster,” and the townspeople riot, eventually using the statue of Carter as a battering ram

Allison Green: Bart Simpson Crop Top – More high highfalutin’ Simpsons fashion.

The Original Demo Of “Lisa, It’s Your Birthday.” Sung By The Actual Michael Jackson – This isn’t the first time I’ve linked this, but it’s always nice to see it crop up again.

10 Words That “The Simpsons” Invented – I am suspicious of this list for a couple of reasons (“frogurt”, for example, was not invented by the show), but at least the only Zombie Simpsons entry is from Season 12.

10 More Visual Gags from The Simpsons – Nice list.  I always liked “Let’s Share the Blame”.

Tropical Brunch Club – Good thinking:

Once a month, one of us hosts brunch club, affectionally dubbed the S.S.B.S. (Super Sunday – or Saturday – Brunch Spectacular – a la this episode of The Simpsons).

They would appear to have more than just baloney and bread.

Mmm… Donuts – A collection of donut .gifs, including Homer wolfing them down at the start of “Homer at the Bat”.

Itchy and Scratchy show – Neat photo of Itchy and Scratchy Lego figures.

maggie simpson – Fan made pencil sketch of Maggie, with what looks like Marge on the sheet underneath.  Neat.

O que tá rolando de melhor na C&A, Renner e Riachuelo? – A creepy looking Bart robot t-shirt from I don’t know where.

Mr. Burns – From the same site as the above, but it’s Burns at a cafe.

Harry Shearer interview: ‘I told them I don’t dance – now I prove it nightly’ – And finally, I don’t think Shearer is the God, but he’s at least a god:

Do you see The Simpsons as a job for life?

The show will continue until the Fox network can find a new hit comedy show for 8pm and, based on their track record so far, I’d give us another 50 years.

Heh.  Also, it’s been an open secret for more than a decade that he agrees with us, and now we have this:

Do you think the quality of The Simpsons has ebbed and flowed over the years?

I think about it but I don’t talk about it.

Well said, Mr. Shearer, well said.


Quote of the Day

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“Ahoy ahoy? . . . No, you have the wrong number.  This is 5246.  I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine.” – C.M. Burns


Reading Digest: Must Be Labor Day Edition

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“Now look, stop calling me and start enjoying your vacation.  Remember, I want to see lots of pictures when you get back.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh, actually sir, picture taking is not allowed at this particular resort.  Oop, I gotta now.  There’s a line forming behind me.” – Mr. Smithers

There are only two really slow periods for the internet during the year, the Christmas-New Year’s holiday gauntlet when all the big media companies are basically shut down for everything except really important breaking news, and late August when, for reasons of warm weather vacation, they do the same thing.  The biggest Simpsons story on-line this week, by a mile, was the official grand opening of the new and expanded Simpsons area at that theme park in Florida.  Since it’s been piecemeal open for months now, that should give you a good idea of just how slow things are.  However, we do have tons of excellent usage, a supposedly widespread rumor I’d never heard before, a couple of testimonials about how people experience the show, the varying supervillain qualities of Elon Musk, and Officer Mahoney himself, Steve Guttenberg. 


There’s an Unaired ‘Simpsons’ Episode Where Bart Dies? – There isn’t.  But the story behind the rumor that there is – a rumor which I don’t think I’ve ever heard or read – is rather interesting:

So if Matt Groening and the staff of The Simpsons produced a special one-off episode of the series where Bart Simpson died, it wouldn’t be that shocking. But does such an episode really exist?

Comfort shows: television viewing for the soul – On Season 6 (among other things):

This season of The Simpsons helped me feel comfortable and took my mind of my worries and troubles. I still get the same calming experience when I re-watch those episodes today.

Amen to that.

Simpsons co-creator hands out money as he battles cancer with a smile – An AP story about Simon.  I couldn’t help but picture “Old Money” at this:

"Some people just want a million dollars. Or help with college tuition. And the rest have business propositions," he chortles. "Like that should be my legacy: to lose money on your movie or your moisturizer line.

"I’m bedridden," says Simon, milking the scenario for all its tragicomic worth, "weighing whether to dole my money to people lined up outside the house!"

As always: Simon rules. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 60) – Season 6 vs. Season 5, oh cruel fate, why do you mock me?

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 61) – And he mispronounced words that even I know, like ‘abdomen’. 

Me and Spongebob (caution:not particularly funny) – Excellent usage:

“I’ve watered her down as far as she’ll go, I can’t water her no more!” (Willy the grounds keeper from the Simpsons)


I’m quite strict about what the kids watch on tv, in fact J didn’t even watch TV till he was two. Since then we’ve implemented one simple rule; We don’t let them watch any brain melting happy drappy shitty vomitous child spoiling first world problem television.

Word.  And hooray for Spongebob. 

Thrift Store Finds: August’s Half-Off Sale – You never know what kind of VHS you’re going to find at the recycle store:

I have the first ten seasons of The Simpsons on DVD and watch them on an endless loop. I probably don’t need a VHS cassette collecting the first two episodes of the first season of the series, which is lucky because despite what the colorful box says, that’s not what I got here. The Best of The Simpsons Volume 1 includes “There’s No Disgrase Like Home” and “Life on the Fast Lane” but the cassette here includes “Bart the General” and “Moaning Lisa.” It’s a weird mistake and a little Googling reveals that the cassette I have is The Best of the Simpsons, Volume 2.

Two episodes on VHS, and FOX probably charged $24.95 in 1990 dollars for it. 

Journal Entry #9 – From a cartoonist:

There are other strips like “Peanuts” that I love as well but I want to also mention how “the Simpsons” affected my life. Along with “Calvin and Hobbes,” “The Simpsons” was another influence in my younger years. This may sound over-dramatic but I can’t imagine my life without “The Simpsons.” Morton and Finn are basically Homer and Lisa Simpson. Those two characters are probably my favorites in the show. I always found the Homer and Lisa shows to be the sweetest. What I like about Homer is that he can be REALLY stupid but there is still a heart and real emotion behind all bafoonery.

Well, there was a heart and real emotion.  Now it’s all weird plot twists and popped eyeballs, but other than that, yes. 

Kirby: An iPhone to an adult is like a Crayon to a child in church – Heh:

I forgot to turn off my cellphone in sacrament meeting last week. Unfortunately, the "new message" alert is Homer Simpson yelling "Whoo Hoo!"

So right in the middle of a High Council talk on the importance of eternal marriage, I (and everyone else) heard what sounded like an enthusiastic confirmation of the Holy Spirit — if it were an inebriated cartoon character.

Dangers of modern living, right there. 

What’s your favorite subtle joke from The Simpsons? : AskReddit – Exactly what it says it is, but it went way over 500 comments and there is basically no Zombie Simpsons.  So, well done, Reddit. 

Duck Dynasty recap: "So You Think You Can Date" – Here’s a comparison I never thought to see (though I’ve only watched one episode of Duck Dynasty, so what do I know?):

The sign of a strong series is when you know it has a deep bench of supporting characters. The best example is The Simpsons, which has hundreds of characters most fans — even casual ones — know by name. And at any time the writers could choose to build an entire episode around any one of them. I mean, I would totally watch a Duff Man episode, wouldn’t you? Depth has never been a problem for Duck Dynasty, with the members of the Robertson family alone accounting for more possible storylines than any reality series has a right to.

Which Character From The Simpsons Is Elon Musk? – Is he supervillain Hank Scorpio or snake oil salesman Lyle Lanley? 

Steve Guttenberg 55th birthday: 15 reasons why the Police Academy, Cocoon and Three Men & A Baby star is a cinematic treasure – I wouldn’t agree with the conclusion here, especially when turning down Ghostbusters for Police Academy is seen as a good career move.  It also doesn’t exactly speak well that the first thing they note after the Police Academy movies is the fact that he’s mentioned in the Stonecutter song. 

Ticket to Ride: Breaking Down the Krustyland Attractions – Yet more Tapped Out tips.  At this point, I could create a whole meta-site just about other sites that offer tips on the game. 

How to be a Good Fan: Don’t be the Comic Book Guy – Ah, crap:

Going back to The Simpsons, for its first 9 seasons it was close to my favorite show ever.  After season 9 it seemed to get a bit “stupider” in its jokes and, to me, became more about watching Homer scream and guest stars.  Now that was to ME.  My response was to try it for a bit.  Watch the odd one here and there…and then give it up.  I haven’t watched a full episode since season 11.  I didn’t continue to watch it just so I could go to the forums later and complain about how it was the Worst. Episode. Ever.

Fair enough, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually called something the worst ever. 

Sugar High: gotta have it, really need it to get by – After getting $80 on a iTunes card, a young father does this:

As I was starting to run out of money I knew I had to get something for everyone in my house to enjoy. So I grabbed The Simpsons season 1. I know The Simpsons are overplayed on syndication these days but I don’t have TV, so there. Season 1 will always be special not only for the spot on writing but simply for those end of the 80s memories I’m always trying to sort out in my head.

I know that feeling.

NY Yankee Ichiro Suzuki hosts Akiko Wada, the “Aretha Franklin/Marge Simpson” of Japan – Well, I learned something today:

This is a woman who is perhaps the Aretha Franklin of Japan. She is known for this performance of “Unchain My Heart,” and was the voice of Marge Simpson in the Japanese version of the Simpsons.

Nobody – Lisa’s Emily Dickinson quote superimposed over an artsy portrait.  Neat. 

Meaningless Milestones – Excellent ironic usage:

When the Simpsons had their 100th episode, the opening showed Bart writing, “I will not celebrate meaningless milestones” over and over on the chalkboard.

Well, this is my own meaningless milestone. This is my 100th blog entry.


Three Days Left for Free Books! – More excellent usage:

Ladies and gentlemen, you only have three days left to enter the free book giveaway on Goodreads! I’m giving away ten free copies of On The Border. The giveaway ends on August 31.

Don’t be like Homer Simpson when Mr. T is at the mall: “The entire day, I kept saying, “I’ll go a little later, I’ll go a little later…” And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he’ll ever come back again, he said he didn’t know. Well, I’m never going to let something like that happen again!”

Couple of minor nitpicks in that Homer says “And then when I got there” and “if he would ever come back”, but that’s trivial.  Well quoted. 

Rejoice, Simpsons Fans: You Can Go to Springfield – A four minute walking tour video of the now fully armed and operational Simpsons area in Florida.  I don’t know if Orlando tourism is a seasonal affair, but one suspects that the original schedule did not call for this thing to open right as summer vacation season was coming to a close. 

[PHOTOS] ‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Family Guy,’ ‘American Dad,’ ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Posters – FOX released some circus themed posters for fall promo, and they’re actually quite good.  Be nice if they put that much effort and creativity into Zombie Simpsons, but whaddya gonna do? 

Masonology – From a Freemason blog:

Homer here is currently taking his obligation. Unfortunately Homer joined the Stonecutters, our sworn enemies.

Freemasons run the country!

“I Want to Buy That Rock” – Thank goodness for The Simpsons, otherwise many fewer of us would know what “specious” means.

The Best in Simpsons, 80′s & 90′s Pop Culture… – There’s a new Facebook page about late 20th century pop culture called “TheDRYYYYYYCracker”.  

I’ve asked my students to do this . . . – The problem with asking your students to catalog all their media interactions is that you have to do it too, including:

30 minutes . . . (this is so not like me) playing a video game! I am addicted to the “The Simpsons Tapped Out” game. I am not into many games, but it’s only my love of “The Simpsons” that keeps me coming back to build Springfield after Homer destroyed it in a power plant explosion. This is audience fragmentation at work. I am not really into games, but I am a huge, dorky Simpsons fan. Someone built this game for huge, dorky Simpsons fans. Now I play it. Why do I play it? It’s kind of clever, it’s a simple pleasure, and I have to admit, I anticipate what I get to build next in the game. But, about 10 minutes at a time is all I can handle without getting bored.

I recently acquired my first Android device, and I briefly tried out the game, ten minutes is about how far I made it.  

The World’s End…In 10 Words – Quick, get Bart out of the house before God gets here!

Super Buddies…In 10 Words – Did they pull a toddler from the path of a speeding car then push a criminal in front of it?

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers…In 10 Words – Ralph won’t “Morph” if you squeeze him hard enough. 

The 2013 VMAs…In 10 Words – The MTV awards aren’t about freaks, they’re about music, and advertising, and exploiting fame for the purposes of youth oriented product positioning. 

“Roman numerals? They never even tried to teach us that in school!” – Now here’s somebody who agrees with us:

As a teacher, this joke is relevant on a few levels. First of all, Mrs. K’s justification for learning Roman numerals is delightfully obscure and irrelevant: “If you don’t learn roman numerals, you’ll never know the date certain motion pictures were copyrighted.” At first, this seems like a clever satire on what is deemed to be essential knowledge in American school systems. The joke appears to be entirely in line with the Simpson’s long-standing tradition of poking gentle fun at various social and cultural institutions.

Then, the kicker comes when Bart (through a classicly twisted yet still coherently connected plot) finds himself actually needing to know Roman numerals. The situation is of course highly unique and bizarre, but the point it makes to me is that we can never be certain when or where we will need to know what we need to know.

If there’s one thing you really need to know Roman numerals for, it’s to know what Super Bowl we’re on.


Quote of the Day

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“Your new duties will include answering Mr. Burns’ phone, preparing his tax return, moistening his eyeballs, assisting with his chewing and swallowing, lying to Congress, and some light typing.” – Mr. Smithers


Bill Oakley’s Twitter Followers Know What They Like

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As of this writing, Bill Oakley has 3,660 followers on Twitter.  Last week, he tweeted the following, innocuous Season 7 quote:

Oakley Tweet - Instigation

Since Oakley’s followers (the ones that are real people who actually follow their Twitter feeds, anyway) are fans of the show, they responded with some of their favorite Simpsons-related telephone gags.  Here they are (and remember that it’s Twitter, so read bottom to top):

Oakley Tweet - Response

According to Twitter, it was twenty-six minutes from Oakley’s initial tweet to the one where he thanks everyone and says he can’t keep up any longer.  In that time he retweeted fifteen quotes or references to telephone gags that had been on The Simpsons (including two from our old friend Steve of “In 10 Words”).  If you’ve read the tweets then you already know where I’m going with this: not a single one came from after Season 9. 

Obviously this is not a scientific sample of popular opinion complete with a margin of error.  But as an observation of real people interacting with each other it’s very telling.  All Oakley had to do was type “Ahoy-hoy?”, and everyone instantly knew that it was a Simpsons telephone gag.  He was then bombarded with so many responses in kind that barely an episode’s worth of time later he had to thank everyone as a polite way to ask them to please stop.  Every single one of the responses was from episodes thirteen years old or older. 

In a nutshell, that’s the lasting difference between The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons.  More recent episodes, which in theory should be fresher in people’s minds, have been all but forgotten.  But even after more than a decade, the old ones are so good that random strangers on the internet still want to quote them and laugh at them. 


Quote of the Day

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“Donuts?  I told you, I don’t like ethnic food!” – C.M. Burns


Quote of the Day

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“I’ve got to find a replacement who won’t outshine me.  Perhaps if I search the employee evaluations for the word ‘incompetent’ . . .  714 names?  Better be more specific:  ‘lazy’,  ‘clumsy’, ‘dimwitted’, ‘monstrously ugly’ . . . aw nuts to this, I’ll just go get Homer Simpson.” – Mr. Smithers


Quote of the Day

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“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.  Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” – Homer Simpson


Synergy Wants Its Job Back

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“Ah, and my dear, dear Smithers, you’re no longer needed at all.  You’re fired.  Ta.” – C.M. Burns

We’re now two episodes into Season 22, and there has been nary a synergistic peep from FOX owned subsidiary IGN.  Last year, they “reviewed” the premier before it was even broadcast and had one of their puff pieces up each Monday after a new Zombie Simpsons aired.  This year, all they’ve got is the generic description text that FOX puts out, and the episode pages for both new ones do not have a link to a review. 

This means that the “Synergy” category is getting retired around here.  At least until I find another wholly owned FOX subsidiary offering theoretically independent but obviously sycophantic commentary on Zombie Simpsons.  Then I might bring it back. 

For the record, my mockery had nothing to do with this little cancellation.  I would’ve been shocked if it did, but IGN was also “reviewing” Family Guy last year, and those appear to have stopped as well.  I was going to check on some other shows but they were sending me to click through advertising pages with such frequency that navigating the site was just shy of impossible.  They didn’t use to do that.  So I’d guess this is general belt tightening over there, which is good because I’d hate to have cost some freelancer part of his ramen noodle budget. 


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