“Now, I know I haven’ been the best Christian. In fact, when you’re up there blah-blah-blahing, I’m usually doodling or mentally undressing the female parishioners. Well, anywho, can I have forty-thousand dollars?” – Homer Simpson
Posts Tagged ‘Homer’s Triple Bypass
09
Aug
18
Makeup Quote of the Day
18
Jul
17
Simpsons Has Warped My Brain
“Marge, this is Andre.” – Patty Bouvier
“Hello.” – Andre
“I think you two would make a lovely couple.” – Patty Bouvier
“My husband is still alive!” – Marge Simpson
“Oh. Thank God. I hope he pulls through.” – Patty Bouvier
“Not me.” – Andre
I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room right now while my Dad has (long overdue) hip replacement surgery. It’s about as low risk as getting cut open and having the top of your femur cut off comes, so I’m not really worried, but I can’t get the above quote out of my head. Like so many Simpsons jokes, it works in about five different ways: Patty and Selma’s utter loathing of Homer, the complete sleaziness of Andre (down to the visible chest hair and chains), the wild inappropriateness of him being in the waiting room, his blase dirtbag delivery on “Not me”, Patty’s deadpan sarcasm as she hopes Homer pulls through, and I think I’m forgetting a couple.
Now, hospital waiting rooms are grim places. Nobody wants to be here, everyone’s bored, and a lot of people are seriously tense. There’s a kind of quiet decorum to it where any activity that passes the time is acceptable, but having fun in any way is not. And I keep chuckling to myself about Andre, the couple making out in the surgery viewing room, and Dr. Nick smelling gas. When they let us back to see my Dad pre-op, the first thought I had upon walking in the room was “bed goes up, bed goes down”.
Times like this are when I don’t feel the least bit wasteful having dedicated significant chunks of my brain to remembering the show. What other program could de-stress me two decades after the fact? A stray line or joke, that’s easy. The Simpsons has whole scenes and episodes that amuse me wherever I go.
21
Jun
17
Quote of the Day
“I’m telling you, it’s not going to work. . . . See?” – Sideshow Mel
17
Dec
15
Homer’s Triple Bypass Gifs
“Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down.” – Homer Simpson
Happy Simpsons Day everyone! In honor of this momentous occasion, we’re having .gifs. (As before, if there’s something else from this episode you’d like to see in a repeating compressed image file, please let me know.)
01
Sep
14
Quote of the Day
“Don’t you have health insurance at work?” – Marge Simpson
“Well, actually, we gave it all up for a pinball machine in the lounge.” – Homer Simpson
“D/oh.” – Marge Simpson
15
Mar
14
Quote of the Day
“You’re fired! . . . But wait, perhaps I’m being too hasty. You are highly skilled . . . at goofing off! Now, don’t worry, Homer, you’re the kind of guy I could really dig . . . a grave for! Your indolence is inefficacious! . . . That means you’re terrible!” – C.M. Burns
Happy birthday David Silverman!
“Ahh, little Homer . . . How’d he get that?” – Abraham Simpson
Homer’s maternity ward:
Reputable health insurance:
Springfield General is a very strict hospital:
And now, people who look like things:
Surgical audience:
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken