Posts Tagged ‘Homie the Clown

31
Aug
17

Quote of the Day

“Hey, it’s Krusty all right. Should I shoot him gangland style or execution style?” – Louie
“Listen to your heart.” – Fat Tony

30
May
17

Quote of the Day

“There’s your giraffe, little girl.” – Homer Simpson
“I’m a boy!” – Ralph Wiggum
“That’s the spirit! Never give up.” – Homer Simpson

27
May
16

Reading Digest: Azaria Graduates Edition

Homie the Clown17

“Now, come and get your catskins, uh, I mean sheepskins.” – Krusty the Klown

Short reading digest again this week, but we’ve got a couple of great links, including a guy who truly hates Zombie Simpsons, and an amusing YouTube video from Azaria.

Enjoy.

Hank Azaria gives graduates advice as characters from ‘The Simpsons’ during commencement speech – Azaria is a crowd pleaser, “When in doubt, always pull out the Simpsons voices”:

I don’t know if he wrote these or had one of the writers do it, but there are some pretty good ones in here. I particularly liked Apu: “Remember please, children, that in life there is nothing that is not so disgusting that it cannot be sold on a heated roller at a nearly criminal markup.”

How the weird internet is keeping The Simpsons exciting – This is an excellent summation of the ways fans have started making their own fun since Zombie Simpsons became boring. Also, this is all true:

The Simpsons has been on the air in some form or another for nearly 30 years, and it’s been terrible for twenty. The cartoon’s golden age is perfect television, my favorite TV show of all time, but in terms sheer output the bulk of The Simpsons is bad. When FXX aired a 12-day marathon of every Simpsons episode ever, a solid week of it was unwatchable. Harry Shearer was a hero for recognizing he was old, tired, and had enough money and that the only way to put the show out of its misery was for a core cast member to quit. Unfortunately, the shameless creators really believed they could recast Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, and others like it was no big deal, so Shearer relented. Not too long ago, apropos of nothing, I woke up angry The Simpsons was still on the air.

Good lad.

A look back at each act featured in The Simpsons’ ‘Homerpalooza’ – Heh:

Now: Peter is still writing, recording and touring regularly. The only thing that has really changed is going from having Frampton Comes Alive! go from every parent’s record collection to every grandparent’s record collection.

A Walk Through the Musical City of Knoxville – Knoxville will never escape The Simpsons:

Knoxville’s famed Sunsphere, a giant gold structure installed in 1982 to herald the World’s Fair, also sits near the edge of World’s Fair Park. In the decades since, the Sunsphere has become a symbol for the whole city. You can take an elevator to an observation deck on one of the Sunsphere’s lower levels, underneath a restaurant and private businesses that occupy the space—and no, none of these businesses is a wig outlet, as The Simpsons might have you believe.

Shock as Northern Ireland man solves mystery of the world’s most coveted stamp … but who is he? – Pfft, the airplane’s upside down:

Inverted Jennies are so called because they depict a US Mail biplane, erroneously printed upside down, on a 24 cent stamp.

One hundred made it into circulation in 1918 after inspectors failed to spot the mistake in a Washington DC printing works.

They have become almost mythical among stamp collectors ever since. And this particular one – No.76 – is now under tight security, having resurfaced after an astonishing 61 years at Spink auctioneers in Manhattan.

The hitherto missing stamp, which even featured in an episode of The Simpsons, was one of a block of four owned by the daughter of an executive at Dow Jones & Company, which disappeared from an exhibition in Norfolk, Virginia, in 1955.

Bart Simpson acquitted at mock trial – I am both heartened and terrified for the youths of today:

In a mock trial held May 12 at Hartley Elementary School, Bart Simpson was accused of stealing Millhouse’s Butterfinger candy bars. After much deliberation, however, a jury of fourth- and fifth-grade students found he was “not guilty.”

The educational program coincided with Justice teacher Megan Wall’s curriculum.

“The kids asked us to show them how it (the justice system) works,” Wall said. “So it’s fun and educational.”

But did anyone wear glasses with eyeballs painted on them?

The Simpsons Season Finale Review: Orange Is the New Yellow – It continues to baffle me why sites like Den of Geek even bother to review Zombie Simpsons. Look at this:

“Orange Is the New Yellow” was an okay episode. They caught a lot of the flavor of Orange is the New Black, but they didn’t skewer it. The season closer is supposed to be spectacular. I looked forward to this episode all season, which was more than a bit below par. The Simpsons may not always close with a season’s best but they are usually among the funniest. This episode doesn’t offer a single guffaw. A few chuckles and more than one smirk but nothing that really cracks me up. The plumbob song was pretty exciting, but not a highlight.

Then they give it 3/5 stars, which I guess is a 6 on the 6-9 scale, but why even bother? What would two stars look like? Would a blank screen get 1.5?

12
Feb
16

Quote of the Day

Homie the Clown16

“Krusty, in regards to the large wager you made on yesterday’s horse race…” – Fat Tony
“Aw, come on, how ’bout letting me go double or nothing on the big opera tonight?” – Krusty the Klown
“Who do you like?” – Fat Tony
“The tenor!” – Krusty the Klown
“Okay.  But we’re only letting the bet ride because you crack us so consistently up.” – Fat Tony

12
Feb
15

Quote of the Day

Homie the Clown15

“Now, when the wealthy dowager comes in, the party’s over, right?  Wrong!” – Krusty the Klown
“Kill . . . wealthy . . . dowager.” – Homer Simpson

19
May
14

Behind Us Forever: The Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Chalkboard - The Yellow Badge of Cowardage
“Gratzi, gratzi, you have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio
“No, no, Don Vittorio, you’re not-” – Legs
“Yes, I am.  I know it, I am.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio

If nothing else, “The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” capped off Season 25 with the same brand of forgettable and lackluster nonsense that we’ve come to expect.  (Points for consistency, if literally nothing else.)  Jokes and childishly simple plot points are explained ad nauseam while the overall story staggers around in a world of dull nonsense.  So, for example, near the middle of the episode Homer and the guy who looks and sounds like Don Vittorio DiMaggio but isn’t Don Vittorio DiMaggio drive around with barrels of gunpowder strapped to their car.  Despite the fact that we know nothing of consequence is going to happen, the show insists on driving them through a bunch of neighborhoods where everything might explode.  It goes on for the better part of a minute and they explain every place they go before they get there.  It’s Season 25 (and really all of Zombie Simpsons) in a nutshell: a bad joke that’s explained ahead of time and then run into the ground.

– At least the couch gag was short.  Didn’t have a couch, but it was short.

– Why is Lisa narrating when the first time we see her she’s asleep?

– Bart banging pots and pans . . . feels like I’ve seen that before.  Also, he explained what he was doing while he was doing it.

– “That’s a prison road crew” – Marge, telling us what we’re looking at.

– Having had a couple of jokes explained while they were happening, here’s Marge to pre-explain the fire department delivering pizza in a pointless, Family Guy aside.

– Narration Lisa is now also pre-explaining the jokes “and run with your leg tied to someone who wouldn’t talk to you all year”.

– Cletus, doing the same.

– Skinner is getting pelted with eggs.  He used to be good at his job.

– As is sometimes the case, the sign gags are at least okay.  Lewis’s out of office text message was kinda funny.  It couldn’t save that extended bit with Chalmers just yelling and mumbling, but it wasn’t terrible.

– This whole field day is an excuse for them to jump from one bad idea to another.

– Okay, Edwin Moses contemptuously saying that all hurdles are the same size was funny.

– The cheese grater abs on Milhouse are kinda gross.

– I think Chalmers reciting all the kids names is supposed to be fan service.  Getting hard to tell.

– Aaaaand, proving once again that they will overuse anything decent, they have Moses jump off a cliff (literally).

– Nelson’s here to punch Milhouse.  Supposedly he’s there because the bullies don’t want to pay off a bet to Martin (which they would do why, exactly?), but maybe he just wanted Milhouse to stop expositing while he ran.

– Speaking of exposition, Narration Lisa is now helpfully explaining his dilemma to us: “Bart faced a terrible choice, take a beating with his friend or slither off like a coward.”

– “Mom, I’m narrating!” <- actual line

– Hibbert, having explained what we just saw happen to Milhouse, now pre-explains the joke about kids having ice cream headaches.

– Time for a Bart dream sequence that re-explains the scene we saw less than two minutes ago.

– Bart is now re-re-re-explaining what happened . . . to Maggie: “You must have figured out I chickened out during the race.”  Shit like this is unforgivably lazy writing.  Could Maggie handing Bart a chicken feather kinda work?  Sure.  But it doesn’t work when she wanders into his room in the middle of the night and then, after the fact, instead of making a joke or even just showing us Bart feeling ashamed, they have him repeat what’s going on.

– Case in point of the above: Narration Lisa is explaining that when Homer was a kid, he liked fireworks because then he couldn’t hear his parents yelling.  Fine.  But instead of showing us that, and maybe even trying to make it funny while it happens, they tell us what’s going on explicitly, “It was the one night of every year that he couldn’t hear his parents argue.  He figured it was because they loved the fireworks just as much as he did.”.

– More of same: “With his mother gone, Homer needed a hero, and no one was more of a hero than the magical little man behind the controls.”  Stop. Explaining. Everything. Please?

– After Homer and the old fireworks guy who looks and talks like Don Vittorio DiMaggio spit one liners at each other, the A-plot returns to once again remind us that Bart is feeling guilty.  This will not be the last time.

– Homer and the repeat old Italian stereotype are now buying fireworks from Cletus.  It ends with an exploding Spider-Pig.

– Bart is now sharing a stage with Drederick Tatum for winning that race.  One of Tatum’s actual lines, “What’s going on?  Seriously, what’s transpiring?”  They’re actually asking themselves for more exposition.

– After some more expositions (“Bart’s a coward”, “He lied to us”), Tatum tells the tattoo guy (what, you didn’t think there’d be a tattoo guy there?) to change his tattoo of Bart.

– Another decent sign gag with “Fruit Tree Sale, Grow a Pear!”.

– Old people saying they’re all cowards is a decent enough idea, but once again they manage to stretch things too long, re-re-re-explain themselves several times, and generally screw things up.

– After Bart wakes up with Milhouse in his bed, we get yet more nonsense exposition, “This is an angry sleepover, I’m only doing it because it was on the books.”.  It’s one thing to have quick aside scenes, it’s another to have them involve both of the main characters in the A-plot in a way that doesn’t fit in with what we’re seeing and then having one of them say why.

– The Homer driving montage would’ve been much funnier if they hadn’t pre-explained every joke and then have it go on for forty-five seconds.

– And speaking of weak jokes that take too long: Wiggum and Lou trying to fire their Revolutionary War muskets.

– Homer has gotten into an unexpected fight for the second week in a row.  This time it’s on a barge full of fireworks that will end up pointing directly at the crowd for a few moments of fake tension.

– Still more evidence of how hacktacular all of this is.  The fireworks are pointed at the crowd.  Bart spies the Retirement Castle bus, then looks at the keys hanging off the back of the driver’s belt.  Fine.  Overly convenient and kinda dumb, but not beyond rescue.  Then Bart says this, “Milhouse, this is my chance to make things right.”.  Ugh.

– Grampa fleeing by saying “Don’t worry, boys, I’ll be with you all the way to Berlin” was kinda funny.  As per standard Zombie Simpsons procedure, however, they have to stretch it by having him jump in a nearby boat that we’d never seen before.

– Carl just made a Twitter joke . . . then he explained it and told us what we were looking at.

– Actual line: “Quit explaining everything!”.  Make of that what you will.

– And we end the season with Grampa playing piano and an unrelated epilogue where Bart brushes his teeth and Maggie squeaks like a chicken.

Anyway, the numbers are in and . . . they did it!  Last night just 3.28 million people wished the writing staff had the courage to let the show die.  That is good for #2 on the all time least watched list (only the 7:30pm, sad-kid-mental-patient “Diggs” remains lower) and it pushes the average overnight rating for Season 25 down to 4.99 million viewers.  Back in March and April, when they were pulling in low 4 and high 3 million numbers, I didn’t think they’d stink out loud enough to get down under 5 for the season, but the last few weeks have gone a long way towards showing just how unloved this show has become.

I’m planning on doing a longer ratings post this week or next, but in the meantime, here is the current list of least watched episodes.  Note that all but #10 are from this season:

(Season-Ep/Date/Viewers in Millions/Title)

  1. 25-12 / 9-Mar-14 / 2.65 / Diggs
  2. 25-22 / 18-May-14 / 3.28 / The Yellow Badge of Cowardage
  3. 25-19 / 27-Apr-14 / 3.38 / What to Expect When Bart’s Expecting
  4. 25-18 / 13-Apr-14 / 3.59 / Days of Future Future
  5. 25-21 / 11-May-14 / 3.61 / Pay Pal
  6. 25-13 / 9-Mar-14 / 3.73 / The Man Who Grew Too Much
  7. 25-11 / 26-Jan-14 / 3.91 / Specs and the City
  8. 25-15 / 23-Mar-14 / 3.93 / The War of Art
  9. 25-16 / 30-Mar-14 / 3.94 / You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee
  10. 23-21 / 13-May-12 / 4.00 / Ned ‘N Edna’s Blend

Those are not the numbers of a healthy show.  Then again, undead things don’t have pulses anyway.

05
May
14

Behind Us Forever: Brick Like Me

Chalkboard - Brick Like Me

“George Carlin on three.” – Miss Pennycandy
“Yeah?  Lawsuit?  Oh, come on!  My seven words you can’t say on TV bit was entirely different from your seven words you can’t say on TV bit.  So I’m a thief, am I?  Well, excuse me! . . . Give him ten grand.” – Krusty the Klown
“Steve Martin on four.” – Miss Pennycandy
“Ten grand.” – Krusty the Klown

Let’s get this out of the way first: this is the best they can do and they know it.  If the PR machine is to be believed, this episode took two years to make and was very expensive to animate.  They bragged about how careful the writing was and how they went the extra mile for this one.  They hyped it for weeks and made it their big May sweeps premier.  And, indeed, it is better and more memorable than most Zombie Simpsons, but that’s a low bar, and the only really memorable thing about it was the animation.

To be fair, the animation was pretty impressive and the episode looked very cool in places.  But the writing and execution would’ve been awful even if the vastly superior The Lego Movie wasn’t looming over every terrible line.  That movie was written and directed by the guys who did Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 121 Jump Street and the unjustly cancelled Clone High.  This episode was written by a guy who started writing for Zombie Simpsons in Season 13 and whose only other IMDb credits in that time are for the justly cancelled Joey.  It shows.

– And we get right into things with fake self deprecation “It’s not selling out, it’s co-branding!  Co-branding!”.

– Give them this, it does look nice.

– The sign gags are pretty lazy, though: “Brick-E-Mart”, “H&R Brick”, “First Brick of Springfield”, “Brick, Block & Beyond”.

– “Hey, these are the monkey’s legs”.  Gee, I sure like being told what I’m seeing.

– “Hmm, what do you know, I enjoyed playing with you.”  Ah, nothing brings us back to the regular reality of Zombie Simpsons faster than characters telling us exactly how they feel.

– And now Homer and Lisa are having an expository talk during a flashback.  It’s crappy writing within a weak plot device within crappy writing within a weak plot gimmick.

– Marge and Homer are sitting at home on the bed and Marge reminds us again that in this world “everything fits with everything else and nobody ever gets hurt”.  That’s about the third or fourth time they’ve explained that.

– “Oh, brick me!” – Just tallying the “brick” puns is exhausting.

– Okay, the increasing sized items on the Love Tester are okay.  Not hilarious or anything, but at least they only used the word “brick” once.

– So, Bart rebuilt the school and then described everything we saw in it with voiceover.

– Lovejoy’s sermon about the beginning of the world is kinda funny (goes on too long, of course, but that’s standard).

– This time it’s Flanders: “everything fits together and no one gets hurt”.  Jebus, we get it already.

– Homer just re-explained everything again before touching the toy box.  Also, Marge was just standing there, so that was a Zombie Simpsons twofer.

– Woof, this scene with Lisa and the other girls expositing about the, ugh, “Survival Games” is really going on too long.  I like how each of them explained why they were there.

– And, just because it deserves its own bullet point: “Survival Games” is incredibly lazy.

– Now Lisa is explaining why she wants to do something.

– And now, because this is Zombie Simpsons, Homer and Marge are having a conversation about Lisa right in front of Lisa’s open bedroom door.  As usual, their contempt for object permanence or even just basic social sense shines through.

– Hey, how about another one: “everything fits together and no one gets hurt”.  Thanks, Homer!

– Jebus, writing this bad wouldn’t have survived in a first draft of The Lego Movie.  First, Comic Book Guy explained to everyone what we just saw, then Marge actually says this, “One of the main questions I have about that is why?”.  That leads to more expositing from Comic Book Guy.

– Hey, another “brick” pun on the Jebediah statue.  How many of these can they do?

– I’m tired of transcribing them, but Marge and Homer just re-re-re-re-re-stated the premise and explained the plot again, in case anyone missed it.

– And now he’s doing it again at a tea party with Lisa, “I’ve created a perfect world with no PG-13 movies to take you away from me.”  We.  Fucking.  Know.

– Pop quiz: brick Homer realizes he can’t stay in his paradise.  Do we see him living life and growing tired of it, or does he stand still and explain everything in a speech while doing nothing?  You get two guesses, but you’re only going to need one.

– Then, directly after, we see him reiterate the speech he just gave to Marge.

– Comic Book Guy: “But you’ve discovered the joy of living in a world made of toys where nothing bad can ever happen.”  That phrase may account for 10% of the total words here.

– Now Comic Book Guy is explaining who he is.

– The giant Bart robot is kinda cool.  It’s not funny or anything, but it’s the first thing that’s reminded me of The Lego Movie in a good way instead of a bad one.

– Well, at least they know they’re a pale imitation of the movie.

– Nice of Homer to tell us all what he learned this week.  Knowing is half the battle.

– Having Lovejoy’s description of the universe be true at the end was an actual nice touch that didn’t take too long.  Weird.

– But the episode ran waaaay short despite repeating itself over and over again, so it’s time for a “Survival Games” sketch to get us to the finish line.

What a waste of an episode.  Neat, innovative animation like that shouldn’t be locked into the ordinary mess of a Zombie Simpsons story.

Anyway, the ratings are in and all that publicity did not do them much good.  Last night, just 4.29 million people wished The Lego Movie had already come out on home video.  That’s the highest number they’ve had in a month and it’s still good for #16 on the all time least watched list.  Hear that, crappy entertainment industry publications?  Keep writing stories about how nobody watches anymore.




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