Dead Homer Society

“Hey, kids, don’t forget to watch my twenty-ninth anniversary show! Featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel whacked out on wowie sauce.” – Krusty the Klown
“Everyone’s always kissing your ass. Well, I’m not afraid to tell you, you’re a [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep].” – Sideshow Mel

“Dad, how do you get a girl to like you?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Son, whether you want to win a girl or crack a nut, the key is persistence. Keep at it, and never lose your cool. . . . Aw, come on you stupid . . . Let that be a lesson to the rest of you! . . . nuts.” – Chief Wiggum

“Okay, Dad, I’ll be persistent. Is that how you got Mom?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Well, son, never underestimate the appeal of a man in uniform.” – Chief Wiggum

“Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines?” – Janey
“Not just yet, Janey. First, we’re going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.” – Miss Hoover
“Isn’t that just pointless busy work?” – Lisa Simpon
“Bullseye. Get cracking.” – Miss Hoover

“Now, take out your red crayon.” – Miss Hoover
“Miss Hoover?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Yes, Ralph?” – Miss Hoover
“I don’t have a red crayon.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Why not?” – Miss Hoover
“I ate it.” – Ralph Wiggum

“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.” – Ralph Wiggum

“We have to go to that show.” – Bart Simpson”
“Forget it!  To get those tickets our parents would have to be part of Springfield’s cultural elite.” – Lisa Simpson
“Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush? . . . Eww.” – Homer Simpson