Posts Tagged ‘I Love Lisa

14
Feb
17

Quote of the Day

i-love-lisa20

“Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines?” – Janey
“Not just yet, Janey. First, we’re going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.” – Miss Hoover
“Isn’t that just pointless busy work?” – Lisa Simpon
“Bullseye. Get cracking.” – Miss Hoover

11
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

RedCrayon

“Now, take out your red crayon.” – Miss Hoover
“Miss Hoover?” – Ralph Wiggum
“Yes, Ralph?” – Miss Hoover
“I don’t have a red crayon.” – Ralph Wiggum
“Why not?” – Miss Hoover
“I ate it.” – Ralph Wiggum

30
Aug
15

Quote of the Day

I Love Lisa19

“The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.” – Ralph Wiggum

20
Aug
14

Quote of the Day

PerfectlyGoodToothbrush

“We have to go to that show.” – Bart Simpson”
“Forget it!  To get those tickets our parents would have to be part of Springfield’s cultural elite.” – Lisa Simpson
“Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush? . . . Eww.” – Homer Simpson

12
Jun
14

Zombie Simpsons Should Go and Die With a Heated Coathanger In Its Bum

By Connor Dunphy 

Yo, it’s Dead Homer Society. You know how it is, you ain’t here if you don’t. Let’s get straight to it, because I got something to rant about.

Charlie and his accomplices have done a real fine job of utterly deconstructing Zombie Simpsons. And it deserves every single bit of it, because watching it is like seeing your beloved Grandma contract dementia and then proceed to start being really mean and horrible for no reason. Everything they’ve mentioned: the dialogue, the storylines, the characterization, lack thereof of all three, it’s all grade A, 100%, farmer’s dream bullshit. Today, though, I’m here to properly shed some light on something else. I’m gonna scoop some of that bullshit from a corner of the bottom of the barrel which I don’t think has been properly examined: the animation of Zombie Simpsons.

Ever since I started thinking about how this show has declined other than “eh it’s not as good, I guess”, since I read the very first word of this site’s manifesto, what’s pissed me off the most, got me to pause whatever platform I’m watching the show from, made me draw characters on my toilet paper to properly represent where their shenanigans can go, was the way the animation has gone.

Think back to all the classic Simpsons episodes that you know. You got your “You are Lisa Simpson”s, your “Do it for her”s, just all the amazing seasons you see people on Tumblr, Twitter, anything quote. They had amazing animation. Everything felt human. If I could refer to a specific example, it would be the scene where you can pinpoint the exact moment Ralph’s heart breaks in half.

1

 

You can sense, just from how this specific frame is drawn, what the characters are feeling. Lisa feels regret, sorrow, sadness of some kind, and Bart, in his amused indifference, is rubbing it in. You don’t need to watch the entire episode to sense that. You don’t need overwhelming [SOMBER TRUMPET NOISES] to know that they’re feeling that, because you know who the characters are, what their personalities are. If someone came up to me and said “hey dude, I never seen the Simpsons can you show me a quick sum up of the characters”, then I’d take pity on them for being denied a right as entitled to him/her as freedom of speech, and show them this picture. Everyone knows the barest thing about the Simpsons. Hell, I used to listen to this square-ass radio station where middle-aged people would get asked “who is the mischievous person in the Simpsons” and they’d just instantly say Bart.

You look at this picture, and you have the 0.003333333% of Simpsons knowledge that everyone who’s never watched it does, you know what’s going on. This is the beauty of old Simpsons animation, it fit the characters and the storyline. A truly great producer has their music fit the vocalist, whether it’s a rapper or a folk singer, they use the right sounds, samples and all of that to make sure that it all comes together. They may have created them, but the people behind the Simpsons managed to perfectly encapsulate the essence of the characters in every frame.

Sadly, this is the end of the good. The good that makes the bad just a little bit badder. Now we move onto my grievances. The Simpsons died in an unspecified date between 1997 – 1998, and it happened too slowly for us to properly evacuate the premises before being revealed to it’s rotting form, so we could only stiffen our bodies in shock as it began spewing acidic vomit piles such as “Saddlesore Galctica”, “The Principal and the Pauper”, and “Lisa the Skeptic”, just awful episode after awful episode as we stood in front of this now monstrous, decaying creature, our forearms eroding off of our bodies from the acid, nervously thinking “It’s only a little burn, it’s still good! It’s still good!”. Speaking of “Saddlesore Galactica”, I might as well use it as Exhibit A.

2

Does anyone care how this is drawn?
Zombie Simpsons animators: No!

I want you to look real closely at the above picture. If possible, line it up with the previous picture that I so affectionately praised. Remember the whole thing about being able to see what the characters are feeling, having some rudimentary look into their motivations? If you can honestly look at that picture, especially in comparison to the previous one, and see that, then I will personally come over to your house and let you make me watch Season 21, Clockwork Orange style.

Anyways, my point is that you can’t. You can’t see what the characters are feeling, you can’t have an idea of what the story is. Probably the only thing that I can say about this type of animation is that it’s consistent with everything else in the episode.

Just glance at everyone in the picture. Homer has the only actual expression, and even without context it’s a disgustingly-OOC face that spits on the personality built up for him in the past 7 seasons. Everyone else, from the formerly three dimensional main characters, to the background characters, all have blank looks like they just got lobotomized. Chief Wiggum is redundantly inserted into the scene, sans purpose. The three people beside him look like that puppet Krusty brought in to compete with Gabbo (you know, the one whose mouth fell off and terrified all in attendance). The three people in the foreground have no eyes. [Ed note: Eww.]  All of them look like they’re in stasis, waiting to be used, to be actually in some semblance of a sensical story. They aren’t, of course, because this episode prioritizes edgy horses and here today, gone tomorrow jokes about Bill Clinton, but I digress.

It really baffles me how the animators, the writers, the network, could look at frames like this, where basically the minimum amount of effort has been put in, and think “Yes, this is as good as the previous episodes, let’s release it.”. What used to be relatable human beings became a bunch of zombies with thumbs stuck up their collective ass, existing only to provide the most masturbatory and dismissive of jokes.

Now, it’s all well and good to curbstomp “Saddlesore Galactica”, and I’d like to do it a bit more (maybe later, if you’re up for it), but that is not the extent of my problems with this style. Let’s take it 10 years forward. Zombie Simpsons has now achieved Lisa Trevor status, and is shuffling around the Earth, surviving all attacks against it whilst desperately calling out for a remnant of it’s past. Homer’s a high-pitched noise machine now used in Guantanamo Bay interrogation sessions, everybody says how they feel a lot, Bob’s your uncle.

By this time, the Simpsons had converted to HD animation. I wanna precede the following fancy version of saying “Fuck this show” by noting that the problem does not lie with the use of HD. Basically everything other than Zombie Simpsons has shown us that HD can be used to create beautiful works of art. It lies with the fact that the format was not only misused, but also had a hand in revealing just how homogenized the show had and has became.

3

You probably saw this in the most recent Compare and Contrast. This is an example of how crap the Simpsons has become. Sterile as the reconditioning dystopia led by Flanders, as awkward-looking as a guy wearing a fedora with a trollface T-shirt, I believe the layman’s term is “awful”.

As you can see from inside the car, the blank expression thing has returned, albeit evolved. Now, the only expressions a character can have when they’re not explicitly the focus of whatever half-baked storyline they’re putting out is either the aforementioned “Stare into the distance blankly, often with mouth slightly agape” or the brand-new “Stare into the distance blankly EXCEPT NOW YOU SMILE WOAAAAH”. Homer looks like he’s in a goddamned Mr. Men book, like he’s about to tell Mr. Greedy that he’s greedy. Because of that, all this is, sans context, is just Homer and some guy driving around with a bunch of weirdly-shaded gunpowder containers. This could be some one-off joke; it could be a pivotal point in the storyline; it could be it’s climax; shit, it could probably pass for those time-consuming couch gags. I wouldn’t put it past them.

Everything is technically sound, but what it misses is the actual substance behind it. A corporate executive who basically is the embodiment of everything Frank Zappa despises can perfectly replicate something, whether it be music, a book, a video game, anything, but it will always lack the appeal that brought it to their attention in the first place. The emotion, the meaning, the life behind it, they will never be able to replicate that. Simpsons gave us emotional, inspiring moments and the criticisms of a system we all hated, Zombie Simpsons gives us coldly-animated, poorly composed frames and a yellow hand holding a can of Axe body spray.

This show was once a living legend. If it had died in 1997, we would be celebrating it like Tupac. Now that it’s still alive, the entirety of it’s viewership is slowly beginning to sour on it like Jay-Z. All of this animation only contributes to the decline in quality of Zombie Simpsons, and it just starts to get sad. I’ve found there are two stages to this life that you, I, Charlie, and others live. First is the catharsis of criticizing this cascade of crud, then comes the disappointment you have in the show, the show you grew up on, the show that taught you about some parts of the world by making you laugh and making you feel. The show that you no longer have. Believe me, man, I wouldn’t be so expansive in my rage if I thought the Simpsons was okay.

That’s about it. I don’t have anything to plug, I’m just a young Scottish boy on the grind. Shoutout to Charlie for giving me the opportunity to write this. One love. [Ed Note: Aww.]

14
Feb
14

Reading Digest: Happy Bacon Day Edition

Bacon Day

“And this is for my huggy bug in honor of this special day.” – Marge Simpson
“Special day?  Oh, what have I forgotten now?  Now, don’t panic.  Is it Bacon Day?  No!  That’s crazy talk.  She’s getting impatient, take a stab at it . . .” – Homer’s Brain
“Happy . . . Valentine’s Day.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, thank you, dear.” – Marge Simpson
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson

Today, as we all know (even Reddit), is Bacon Day.  Like most holidays on the American calendar, whatever was once good and fun about Bacon Day was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece so thoroughly that the backlash against those decades of commoditization now has its own annual meta-backlash.  Personally, I’ve never understood what all the fuss is about.  Some people eat bacon today, some people don’t; and tomorrow begins the year long countdown to the next time people will once again fret and stress over who’s eating bacon, who’s not eating bacon, what their bacon eating (or lack thereof) says about them, and all manner of other non-bacon related subjects.

Naturally, we have some Bacon Day related links this week, so feel free to enjoy them or not as you see fit.  In addition to that, there is yet more new merchandise this week, lots of excellent usage (even on that’s misquoted), an update on fan made cross stitch, a chance to vote on what Simpsons episodes people in the Bay Area will get to watch next month, and a scandalous episode of all caps plagiarism in a barbecue joint that I demand be corrected by next Bacon Day.

Enjoy.

Before we get to this week’s links, here’s Sam Simon’s speech from that award the Writer’s Guild gave him a couple of weeks ago (via):

As I’ve said before, it’s hard to imagine someone dealing with that kind of news better than he is.  I mean, how often do people with nasty cancer crack jokes at the expense of the Make A Wish Foundation?

PLAGIARISM! – Some BBQ joint attributed “You don’t win friends with salad” to some anonymous scoundrel named “Shane”.  Our author got “full on, fan-girl annoyed”, and deservedly so!

20th Century Fox details toy partners for The Simpsons’ 25th anniversary | Latest news from the licensing industry – There’s gonna be Hot Wheels, there’s gonna be six feet tall inflatable Homers, there’s gonna be more figurines.  They are going all out because there can never be enough merchandise.  Never!  (For pics of some of it, see here.)

Mmm… Unexplained Bacon – If you make your own bacon, then every day can be Bacon Day!

Thank You One Tree Hill, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Simpsons, and Harry Potter – A big old wet kiss to some popular media, including the show and including a ton of great YouTube.

Pick-a-Side – >>>>> Classic Simpsons Marathon! <<<<< Pick The Top ‘Simpsons’ Episodes! – That San Francisco tv station that separates Simpsons reruns from Zombie Simpsons reruns is having a viewer contest to pick which episodes they’ll show during a marathon on March 15th.  It’s a good list and you can vote.

The Other Shoe has Dropped – I’ve lost track of all the Converse Simpsons shoes, but here are some of them.

Heres a red ball….. – This is . . . this is brilliant:

I don’t know about you, but I think I its a great idea to carry a red ball in ones pocket for every time some asshole says something completely stupid.  Just for the sole purpose of asking them if they’d like to bounce it.  Anyone know where one could buy these wholesale? Just asking for a friend….

A quick Amazon search did not reveal any bulk purchase options.

From the same site as the above, it’s Simpsons screen caps of the day: Ratboy, Bogeymen, no good Lisa running wild, and horrible aftermath of the Lizard Queen.  Bravo.

CAN I BORROW A FEELING? – As usual with Valentine’s Day, 95%+ of what seems to be on the internet shits on the holiday, and when people do it with Simpsons it’s usually Choo-Choo-Choose related.  Kudos for going with Kirk’s abortive singing career.

Simpsons – I choo choo choose you (gif) – Of course, you can’t go wrong with animated .gifs of the classic.

The faces behind “The Simpsons” – A nice little collage of the six main voices with their various characters.

want: lego simpsons house…that opens. – This is from a blog awesomely titled “Lenny Loves Carl”:

Anyway, if I do obtain this masterpiece of the Lego Gods, I’ll probably keep it in the box until my brother is in town and can put it together for me.  Then I’ll proudly display it in my house and not let friends’ kids play with it when they come over because they’ll do terrible things like put the Jazz Fest poster on Bart’s bedroom wall and make Lisa eat hot dogs when we all know she only wants to eat gazpacho!

Thomas A. Edison’s doodle – A drawing of Homer dressed as Edison, if he ate hoagies and drank Duff.

The Simpsons’ Parody of Famous Photos (12 photos) – Exactly what it says.

Mike Lynch Cartoons: THE SIMPSONS “Please Stand By” Interstitials – Also exactly what it says.

Barbie’s SI Cover Steps Up the Sexualized Children’s Toy Game – Good comparison:

Billed under an “Unapologetic” tagline, Barbie will get a four pages of swimsuit-wearing photos — all taken by longtime SI photographer Walter Iooss Jr. — as well as a limited-edition Sports Illustrated Barbie (only at Target!). And most importantly, 1,000 issues with Barbie in a swimsuit on the cover.
While perhaps the most brazen example yet of sexualizing the children’s toy, the concept isn’t exactly novel. Look at how Marge Simpson’s image has been tarted up over the years. “Springfield’s sexiest MILF,” Maxim called her in 2004 when she appeared on the cover of the magazine. Marge also posed on a bunny chair in Playboy in 2009 as a tag to “The Devil in Marge Simpson.” Weird.

It was.  Really weird.

Sirs, madams, our airs and graces are on the wane – Excellent usage:

Homer Simpson only ever got called “sir” when it was followed by “you’re making a scene”. Unless you’re a teacher or a drill sergeant, you’re likely to be in the same boat.

Berlinale 2014: Is the Man Who Is Tall Happy? Review – Excellent reference:

It’s easy to greet the prospect of Michel Gondy making a doodle movie about the ideas of Noam Chomsky like that aggrieved nerd on The Simpsons: “Ugh, why does it have be zany?”

Kraft Singles Get Very Slightly Less Horrid – Another excellent reference:

The enduring image of Kraft Singles in my mind comes from the Simpsons episode where Homer inadvertently thwarts Mr. Burns and Smithers from burglarizing his home by sleepwalking into the kitchen for “Mmmmm…64 slices of American cheese.” It takes him all night to unwrap and eat them individually, by which time the burglars’ suction pads lose their grip and they nonchalantly drop off the ceiling to bid him a good day.

Get to know Midwest brewers in Locally Brewed by Anna Blessing – Intentional misquotes still count as excellent usage:

To misquote Homer Simpson, “Craft beer. Is there anything it can’t do?” Of course Homer, the great devotee of Duff, probably wouldn’t know what to make of an IPA.

The Simpsons Duff Beer-Themed Energy Drink – Now you can buy it outside the theme park.  Still looks gross.

You’ll Feel Inspired to Play Your NES After Seeing this Nostalgic 8-bit Art (10 Images) – These are great, not only the Simpsons one, but also Bob Ross, Monopoly, and the bunch from Star Wars. (via Content for Nerds)

Shirley Temple Offered Guest Role On ‘The Simpsons’ But Said F*ck Off – They wanted her to play Little Vicki.

Bart’s Dog Gets An F – Episode #029 – Lots of people think only mules can pull carts.  Impatient people think that, but patient people know better.

12 Things The Simpsons Can Teach You About Family, Hard Work, And Happiness – This is to promote that same new ebook I linked last week.  I’ll have a review of it next week, but for now I’ll just recommend against a purchase.

Word Mystery: butterfly / mariposa / papillon / farfalla – The show gives us all kinds of options for daily usage:

My BFF and I decided a million years ago that “butterfly” would be our code word for “help” in any situation. If one of us couldn’t remember another person’s name while talking to them, we’d mention how odd it was that we’d seen a butterfly earlier that day and the other would come to the rescue.

[…]

It’s the perfect word for all kinds of situations since it’s innocuous, not commonly said, and, as Bart Simpson learned years after I had, “Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.

Harry Potter and the Happy Squirrel: Hermione, as Page of Coins, considers Ron and Harry – I did not know this:

“The Happy Squirrel has become a bit of an in-joke in the tarot community since  it first appeared in the Simpsons episode Lisa’s Wedding in the mid 1990′s.” —   A review of the Touchstone Tarot

But is it bad?

EYE CANDY: Bartmania Nostalgia in Time for Black History Month – Pretty much what it says, some old stuff and some new stuff being used to promote an album.  Cool.

Progress on Lisa – That cross stitch I linked a couple of weeks ago is definitely Lisa and not Maggie, and looks to be coming along nicely.

The Perfect Compliment – Star Wars Valentine for the win.

My Thoughts: The Simpsons – Good move:

the show has stopped being funny. It’s not even interesting to entertaining anymore. I took it off my Hulu watch list back in 2012 because for the last few seasons before then, I’d watch each episode and think, “Let’s get this over with” before clicking it. I think out of two seasons prior to 2012 I laughed maybe three times total.

It’s time to love up all on Thursday. – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:

I love the Simpsons – up to a point. The older stuff is so genius. I will still pepper conversations with random quotes to this day, I can sing along with all the musical numbers. It’s become one with my brain.

I know the feeling.  (It closes with a .gif of Homer’s brain explaining to him that $20 is better than a peanut.)

14
Feb
14

Quote of the Day

“Doing the Monster Mash with you on this beautiful Valentine’s Day.” – Marty
“Marty, why did you play that song today?  There must be thousands of love songs.” – Bill
“Well, it’s kind of a love song, all the monsters, enjoying each other’s company, dancing, holding their evil in check.” – Marty
“You played the wrong record, didn’t you?” – Bill
“Why are you doing this to me?” – Marty




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