
“That story isn’t suitable for children.” – Lisa Simpson
“Really? I keep my pants on in this version.” – Chief Wiggum
Remember when Chief Wiggum used to go to speakeasies, porno theaters, and brothels? Zombie Simpsons thought that was a little dull, so they decided to spice things up by grafting a cliche-ridden romantic comedy plot onto him. It’s almost as though improbable melodrama is the only thing they know how to do. Along the way they managed to turn Wiggum into something even whinier and duller than their endlessly heartbroken Moe. In terms of sheer character destruction, that’s pretty impressive.
Then there was the Bart plot, which, uh, I don’t even really know what that was. Much like last week’s little ant farm side show, it had neither an ending nor a conflict. It was just sort of there for a little while, until it wasn’t. The scene in Bart’s room was so flat, humorless, and anti-climactic that it took me a second to realize that it was the ending.
Anyway, the numbers are in and they’re still awfully bad. Last night’s obliteration of Wiggum seared itself onto 5.93 million pairs of eyeballs. That’s up slightly from recent weeks, but still low enough for 10th worst all time. It’s now the fifth week in a row that Zombie Simpsons has scored in the bottom 10. Or, to put it another way, the last five Zombie Simpsons episodes are all among the ten lowest rated in the show’s 21 year history. Oh, and to add insult to injury, a rerun of Family Guy did better than a first run Zombie Simpsons.
Tell Aaronson and Zykowski:
The Mob Has Spoken