Posts Tagged ‘John Swartzwelder

16
Nov
16

Quote of the Day

the-war-of-the-simpsons15

“Yeah, General Sherman, they say he’s five hundred pounds of bottom dwelling fury, dontcha know? No one knows how old he is. But, if you ask me, and most people do, he’s a hundred years if he’s a day.” – Bait Shop Owner
“And no one’s ever caught him?” – Tourist
“Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. And his eyes were like steel: cold and hard. Had a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.” – Bait Shop Owner

Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!

16
Nov
15

Quote of the Day

Homer's Enemy16

“Way to go, Homer!” – Carl
“You’re number one, Homer!” – Lenny
“But this was a contest for children!” – Frank Grimes
“Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out.” – Lenny

Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!

16
Nov
14

Quote of the Day

The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace6

“Now, no tour would be complete without a visit to Edison’s boyhood gift shop.” – Tour Guide

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder! 

16
Nov
13

Quote of the Day

Homer at the Bat8

“Mmm, donuts.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, Homer, slow down!  You’re gonna choke or something.” – Lenny
“Don’t tell me how to eat donuts!” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, Homer’s choking again.” – Carl
“Hmm, isn’t there a first aid chart around here somewhere?” – Lenny
“Somebody scare him.” – Carl
“That’s for the hiccups.” – Charlie

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!

16
Nov
12

Quote of the Day

Bart Gets Famous6

“Ah the morning horoscope, ‘Today will be a day like every other day’.  Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!

16
Nov
11

Quote of the Day

Homer the Great7

“You’re a member of the Stonecutters, Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, sure, let’s see, I’m an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, I’m the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason.  Ah, here it is, the Stonecutters.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!

16
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Bart the General4

“Why don’t you go see Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson
“What can he do?” – Bart Simpson
“He’ll give you good advice, he’s the toughest Simpson alive.” – Lisa Simpson
“He is?” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah, remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?” – Lisa Simpson

Happy birthday John Swartzwelder! 




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