Dead Homer Society

“People of Springfield! I don’t know quite how to say this…” – Lisa Simpson
“Don’t be shy, little girl! Think of Jebediah and the words’ll come.” – Mrs. Glick
“I did a lot of research on Jebediah Springfield and…” – Lisa Simpson
“I think I can pick her off.” – Sniper
“Wait, let’s see what she has to say.” – Mayor Quimby

“Excuse me, my microwave johnnycakes are ready.” – Hollis Hurlbut

“Can you open my milk, mommy?” – Ralph Wiggum
“I’m not mommy, Ralph. I’m Miss Hoover.” – Miss Hoover

“What would you say if I told you that Jebediah Springfield wasn’t as great as he’s cracked up to be? Look: Jebediah was really a vicious pirate named Hans Sprungfeld. His tongue was bitten off by a Turk in a grog house fight!” – Lisa Simpson

“Now, Lisa, when you see there’s no silver tongue in there, will you stop trying to ruin Jebediah’s reputation?” – Mayor Quimby
“Yes.” – Lisa Simpson
“What do we win if the tongue is there?” – Homer Simpson
“Credibility.” – Mayor Quimby
“Aww, what a gyp.” – Homer Simpson

“Congratulations, Ned, you are our new town crier.” – Mayor Quimby
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson
“May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains.” – Mayor Quimby

“You and your daughter ain’t welcome here no more! Barney, show ’em the exit.” – Moe
“There’s an exit?” – Barney Gumble