Dead Homer Society

“Can you open my milk, mommy?” – Ralph Wiggum
“I’m not mommy, Ralph. I’m Miss Hoover.” – Miss Hoover

“What would you say if I told you that Jebediah Springfield wasn’t as great as he’s cracked up to be? Look: Jebediah was really a vicious pirate named Hans Sprungfeld. His tongue was bitten off by a Turk in a grog house fight!” – Lisa Simpson

“Now, Lisa, when you see there’s no silver tongue in there, will you stop trying to ruin Jebediah’s reputation?” – Mayor Quimby
“Yes.” – Lisa Simpson
“What do we win if the tongue is there?” – Homer Simpson
“Credibility.” – Mayor Quimby
“Aww, what a gyp.” – Homer Simpson

“Congratulations, Ned, you are our new town crier.” – Mayor Quimby
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson
“May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains.” – Mayor Quimby

“You and your daughter ain’t welcome here no more! Barney, show ’em the exit.” – Moe
“There’s an exit?” – Barney Gumble

“How about Town Crier? You’d be great at that.” – Lisa Simpson
“You think so?” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, Dad, you’re a big fat loudmouth! And you can walk when you have to.” – Bart Simpson
“Aww.” – Homer Simpson

“Is everything okay?  You look a bit flushed.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Oh, it’s just the excitement of studying Jebediah.” – Lisa Simpson
“Sounds like you’ve come down with a serious case of Jebeditis.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis.” – Lisa Simpson
“Haha . . . did, you had arthritis?” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Um . . . no.” – Lisa Simpson