Dead Homer Society

“Congratulations, Ned, you are our new town crier.” – Mayor Quimby
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson
“May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains.” – Mayor Quimby

“You and your daughter ain’t welcome here no more! Barney, show ’em the exit.” – Moe
“There’s an exit?” – Barney Gumble

“How about Town Crier? You’d be great at that.” – Lisa Simpson
“You think so?” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, Dad, you’re a big fat loudmouth! And you can walk when you have to.” – Bart Simpson
“Aww.” – Homer Simpson

“Is everything okay?  You look a bit flushed.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Oh, it’s just the excitement of studying Jebediah.” – Lisa Simpson
“Sounds like you’ve come down with a serious case of Jebeditis.” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis.” – Lisa Simpson
“Haha . . . did, you had arthritis?” – Hollis Hurlbut
“Um . . . no.” – Lisa Simpson

“Town Crier, I’d like to ask you a few questions.  One, where’s the fife?  And two, gimme the fife.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, stop!  I’ve got nothing but respect for the office of Town Crier, but this is well outside your jurisdiction!” – Hollis Hurlbut

“This case holds our most treasured exhibit, objects owned and used by Jebediah.  Here’s his fife, upon which he sounded the sweet note of freedom, his hatchet with which he hacked at the chains of oppression, and his . . . chamber pot.” – Hollis Hurlbut

“Oh, let me help you George Washington!  I still want to help you!” – Lisa Simpson
“‘I want to help you George Washington’?  Even your dreams are square.” – Bart Simpson