Posts Tagged ‘Lost Our Lisa


Quote of the Day

“Could you open the window? The cops have Daddy’s prints on file.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“Yeah, I’ll fetch you a ride little missy. Hop on in! Mind the skunk. Them things can go off even after theys dead.” – Cletus

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lost Our Lisa”. Original airdate Whacking Day, 1998.


Quote of the Day

Lost Our Lisa4

“See, Bart? There’s another boy who played with glue.” – Marge Simpson
“Actually, it was a plumbing explosion.” – Sad Mother


Behind Us Forever: Super Franchise Me

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“Don’t make me tap the sign.” – Bus Driver

There are episodes of Zombie Simpsons that border on manic, where they just throw crazy shit at the screen and hope that some of the incoherent jumble produces a chuckle or two.  But there are also episodes like “Super Franchise Me”, that feel like they were produced by people in the depths of an Eeyore level depression.  This is Zombie Simpsons going through the motions: slowly, reluctantly, joylessly.  The story, Marge opens a sandwich franchise, is paper napkin thin, and since there’s no B-plot, they had to tack on a slow motion fantasy chase sequence at the end to shuffle this one across the twenty-minute finish line.

(Sorry we forgot to put up a preview post.  Guess we weren’t the only ones half-assing it this week.)

– And you can tell things are off to a bad start when they have a clock eating non-guest couch gag.  It’s 45 seconds long.  Just 19m:15s to go!

– Guh, Flanders is reading the sign gags.  The sign gags are one of the few things they don’t completely suck at, so this is always annoying.

– And then they did it with Homer reading the name of the Japanese city.

– This is one of the dumber montages I’ve seen in a while.  Marge is cooking meat, and Homer is worried for some reason.  It takes almost forty seconds.  Tick-tock, tick-tock.

– You want a good example of how filler-iffic this episode is?  Bart and Lisa just watched Homer stuff food into Santa’s Little Helper for fifteen seconds before they objected.  It wasn’t funny, but it did eat some time!

– On a printed, 8pt font list of this episode’s problems, this would be on about page three, but it makes no sense for Marge to make all these sandwiches after Flanders takes his freezer back.  The premise is that the food is gonna go bad before anyone can eat it, and now she’s got a ton of sandwiches that would still need to go in the fridge.

– Similar to the above, why does Bart want sandwiches at night before he goes to bed?

– Oh, now they have a scene with Flanders explaining that he’s keeping them in his freezer.  It’s nice that they tied up the loose end, I guess, but when your story is so week that you almost have to retcon it before the first commercial break, it’s not a good sign.

– Oh, look, the main story has arrived in the form of a woman showing up at the school, where Marge went for no apparent reason.  Literally neither of them should be there.  Well done, Zombie Simpsons.

– Gotta love sparkling dialogue like this: “Mom, you’re gonna open a sandwich store?”, “Uh-huh.”

– Homer’s flashback to a Pizza Hut certainly went on for a while.

– Marge being happy that everything here is hers could’ve been interesting if it had been developed beyond having her just say “my” over and over.

– Krusty and Mr. Teeny just showed up for some reason.  And now the monkey is bathing in a giant salsa tray.

– Frink’s applying for a job.  Marge sets it up by telling him not to make any weird noises.  He then makes weird noises.  I think this was diagrammed out in Chapter 3 of “Scriptwriting For the Terminally Boring”.

– Gil handing out the strip club card would’ve been much funnier if the “Tell You Their Real Name” Tuesday joke had either been on the card or spoken aloud.  It’s both.  Reading the sign gags really sucks.

– Remember what I said earlier about Marge being happy about things actually being hers?  Well, that got dropped completely and now the Simpson family is working in the restaurant.

– “I was short staffed and your father volunteered.” – Thanks, exposition Marge!  We only saw that one minute ago, how could we possibly remember it?

– Montage #2.  This one is about making and selling sandwiches.

– The “We’re Closed and the Alarm Is On” sign with the skull and crossbones is kinda funny, but I’m just happy they didn’t have someone read it to us.

– There’s another sandwich place across the street now.  Bart pointed it out.  I like this scene, it’s a combination between their hatred of object permanence and their love of bizarre and abrupt plot twists.

– Cletus is reading ridiculous kids names.  Haven’t seen that before.

– Burns and Smithers just showed up for some reason.

– It’s okay, they’re gone now.

– You can argue about whether or not this show is funny (I don’t think it is, but to each their own), but there’s no denying that it’s dumb.  The premise here is that the sandwich franchise opened another location across the street and screwed Marge.  That’s actually a real problem (Subway, for example, is notorious for screwing its franchisees like that), but it’s not used for any kind of comedy here whatsoever.  Instead, they have Homer get scalded, stabbed and bashed in his crotch, and even then it doesn’t make sense.

– Just for good measure, we see Burns fall incompetently off of a rowboat.  Remember evil Burns?  He was fun.

– And now it’s over and they’ve got a caveman Homer very (very) slowly chasing some giant animal because this episode came in a solid minute short, even with all that filler.

– Nice of them to mention Jan Hooks, though.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are way up, but only because of football overrun.  Last night’s cripplingly stretched premise was seen by 7.34 million people, probably half of whom just left it on after the Dallas-Seattle game.  That’s down from the also football lifted season premier, and it would’ve been an average number as recently as Season 22, but it counts as good for them these days.  Next week, the late national game is Giants-Cowboys, so we’ll see if there’s another (relatively) big number.


Quote of the Day

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“Check it out, Bart, X-ray specs! . . . Hey, these don’t work.” – Milhouse van Houten
“Uh, lead shirt.” – Yuk-ingham Palace Clerk
“I’ll take three pairs!  Here’s my prescription.” – Milhouse van Houten


Quote of the Day

Lost Our Lisa1

“I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!” – Homer Simpson


Crazy Noises: Lost Our Lisa

British Museum, Colossal Granite Head of Amenhotep III (Room 4)

Image used under Creative Commons license from Wikimedia Commons.

“This exhibit is a once in a lifetime event.  It’s the first time these Egyptian artifacts have been allowed out of England.” – Lisa Simpson

There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9.  Why Season 9?  Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons.  Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders).  So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (surprisingly enough, not on “ushabtis”).

Today’s episode is 924 “Lost Our Lisa”, yesterday’s was 913 “The Joy of Sect”.

Mad Jon: Ok, so onto the "Lisa is actually an 8 year old" episode.

Charlie Sweatpants: Good, I’m tried of playing defense. There is almost nothing good about "Lisa’s Wacky Adventures to the Museum".

This is either at or very near the bottom of 9.

Mad Jon: Ah, we can play offense together then. I really dislike this one.

Dave: Because it’s schmaltzy as hell?

Because there’s no story at all?

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, those are two of its problems.

Mad Jon: There are maybe 3 or 4 funny things, the rest is very zombie-esk.

Charlie Sweatpants: The horns of suspense got worn out, the wretched cherry picker scene goes on for two whole minutes, and Homer’s bizarre evangelism for risk taking doesn’t make half a lick of sense.

Mad Jon: In full discloser, when I was watching it today, I shut it off for about 20 minutes after Milhouse and Bart wake up Homer. So I watched it in two parts.

Dave: Don’t really think that makes much of a difference.

Mad Jon: I don’t either, but that was several hours of drinking ago.

Those kinds of outbursts are a bit of a trigger for me.

Charlie Sweatpants: That was a ripple of dumb compared to the white capped rollers that were coming our way.

Oh, they’re at the nuclear plant. For no reason, it’s not like Homer had to be the one to give them glue. Did they think the drawer breaking and Homer’s screaming about quitting so he doesn’t get fired was so good they just had to include it?


Sorry, that had to happen.

Charlie Sweatpants: Probably for the best.

But don’t forget that was after he rode the cherry picker down the hill and into the river.

Mad Jon: And used his neck as a wood splitter on the dock.

Charlie Sweatpants: The resolution was terrible, I’ll grant you, but it’s not like it was incongruous with what came before it.

Dave: They lost me at ushabtis.

Charlie Sweatpants: That was after the drawbridge.

Dave: Well, actually they lost me much earlier.

Mad Jon: I must say I like the Russians playing chess. I don’t like the rest of little Moscow or whatever it was…

But the Angry Russian speech reminds me of a friend I had at Best Buy.

We would get him drunk and make him speak Russian, because it is really funny.

Charlie Sweatpants: There were about three or four decent little jokes, the chess playing Russian was okay, I actually like Moe’s "VD clinic" taxi order and Lisa’s line about this being the first time these artifacts have been allowed out of England.

But those are tiny little pieces in what is one long, boring, nonsensical and jumpy story.

Mad Jon: Yea, the Moe line and the artifacts line were both good. They tickled different parts of my funny bone, but the end was the same.

And yes, there are no excuses for the episode as a whole.

I would rather watch the cult one several times in a row before I watch this one again.

Charlie Sweatpants: They keep at it all the way through, there’s the hanging on the sculpture/break-in thing. Even the very end, Homer can’t just knock down the thing, he has to knock down the little posts that hold the rope.

Then, in one of the true signs of laziness, he and Lisa are just – instantly – on the floor listening to it.

The give-a-shit level for telling a coherent story couldn’t be lower.

Mad Jon: Yea, the ending really felt duct taped together. Even for a bad episode. At least in other bad episodes the ending is more wacky.

Charlie Sweatpants: The ending would’ve been wacky if it had ended at the drawbridge, instead they decided to introduce Homer as the world’s most committed risk taker with three minutes to go.

Mad Jon: They just couldn’t stop themselves eh?

Dave: High fives in the writing room. Let’s keep it going!

Mad Jon: You guys were soooo close to having a poor ending, but you really had to go for it.

I’m fired aren’t I…

Charlie Sweatpants: He has to be tricked into letting Lisa take the bus, then he gets scared when Lenny and Carl tell him to, but then he’s Capt. Daredevil. I don’t ask for a lot of continuity between episodes, but it doesn’t seem that hard to have continuity within an episode.

Mad Jon: You know, I never picked up on that, but now that you’ve spelled it out, that is a pretty large stretch for the last 5-10 minutes of one episode.

But don’t worry, Homer will just walk it off.

Charlie Sweatpants: He will, but that isn’t a good thing. This is one of those episodes where all they had was Jerkass Homer stuff, and they just ran with it.

Mad Jon: I’d agree more, but, you know…

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, anything else here?

I’ve managed to work myself into a foul mood again.

And I’m ready to be done.

Mad Jon: No, having chatted about these episodes made me want to go lie down.

Dave: Hooray, closure!

Mad Jon: You wan’t my advice? Continue drinking heavily.

I just put an apostrophe in "want"

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s bad closure. Both of you.


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