Posts Tagged ‘Marge in Chains

02
Apr
20

Thursday Evening Cartoons

“We need a cure! We need a cure!” – Mob
“Why the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Where do we get these placebos?!” – Panicked Woman
“Maybe there’s some in this truck!” – Panicked Man

Howdy, campers, how’s everyone doing with the ongoing unpleasantness? My life has certainly been turned upside down, though I’m on team “Stuck At Home” not team “Doing All the Real Work”, so I’ve got it fairly easy. And while there are a lot of people that I love and care about who are at risk or already suffering, so far nobody has died or lost their home. Don’t know how long that’s going to last, but [fingers crossed].

I have been knocked off my tram lines on doing Quotes of the Day. Those got shaky a couple years ago and moreso of late. Then with the “wait, what day is it” experience of the last three weeks, I finally fucked it up and let it lapse all the way. I guess eleven years and change will have to suffice for now.

Instead, let’s take a look at a timely Simpsons episode, the first act of which has nicely captured our real life episode of Love in the Time of SARS-CoV-2, or, more festively, SARS 2: Corona Boogaloo.

The “Osaka Flu” opening of “Marge in Chains” goes from Homer ordering useless junk off the TV to the town being abandoned by its rich and powerful to irresponsible media coverage and panicked mobs run amok in search of any protection (no matter how ineffective). About the only thing the episode wasn’t cynical enough about was that nobody blamed Akira for it, though, given that it was written at a time when the federal government was trying to make amends with Japanese-Americans and seemed to be progressing in many areas, that’s at least understandable.

But for the most devastatingly on the nose from a quarter century ago, we have Ned Flanders’ lament. A wealthy, white, Evangelical father of two who almost certainly would’ve voted Republican in 2016, Ned cries out, “Oh, the network slogan is true! Watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!”.

 

14
Nov
19

Quote of the Day

“As the wife of the minister, I’m privy to a lot of sensitive information . . . and here it is. Marge’s husband doesn’t earn much, and the family’s a mess! And, quite frankly, I think she . . .” – Helen Lovejoy
“Let the record show that the witness made the Drinky-Drinky motion.” – Blue Haired Lawyer

Happy birthday, Maggie Roswell!

22
Apr
19

Quote of the Day

“Smithers, this plague doesn’t scare me. I’ve constructed a germ free chamber for myself. Not a single microbe can get in or out.” – C.M. Burns

04
Sep
18

Quote of the Day

“Ninety-eight point six, you’re fine. Now, hurry up or you’ll miss your bus.” – Marge Simpson
“Maybe you better take that temperature one more time.” – Bart Simpson
“Sarge, we keep getting orders to let the virus win.” – Immune Cell
“Must be a school day. Lay down your arms!” – Immune Sargent
“Alright! Let’s make some pus.” – Virus

06
May
18

Quote of the Day

“DOCTOR, ARE YOU SURE IT’S ON? I CAN’T HEAR A THING!” – Troy McClure
“IT’S WHISPER-QUIET!” – Dr. Nick Riviera

12
Dec
17

Quote of the Day

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who do you find more attractive, Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson?”
“What is the point of all this?” – Judge Snyder
“Your honor, I feel so confident of Marge Simpson’s guilt, that I can waste the court’s time by rating the superhunks!” – Prosecutor
“Ooh, he’s gonna win.” – Lionel Hutz

06
May
17

Quote of the Day

“Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange.” – Troy McClure
“You mean there’s a better way?” – Homer Simpson

06
May
16

Quote of the Day

Gimme

“And get me a bottle of bourbon!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Grampa, you know you can’t have liquids after three pm.” – Marge Simpson
“You can stir it into my mush! Either way, just gimme, gimme, gimme!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

11
Aug
15

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains18

“And now, for an emergency announcement from the mayor.” – TV Announcer
“People of Springfield, because of the epidemic, I have cancelled my vacation to the Bahamas.  I shall not leave the city . . . hey, you, get that steel drum out of the, um, mayor’s office.” – Mayor Quimby
“Sorry, mon.” – Bahamanian Drummer

06
May
15

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains17

“And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.” – Lionel Hutz
“Mr. Hutz, do you know you’re not wearing any pants?” – Judge Snyder
“What?  Ahh!” – Lionel Hutz

14
Jul
14

Quote of the Day

Bartina

“Don’t worry, Mom.  I’ll bust you out of there just as soon as I get a cocktail dress and a crowbar.” – Bart Simpson
“Bartina, until I met you, I was the loneliest warden in the penal system.” – Imaginary Warden”
“Fresh.” – Bartina
“Oh, down I go.” – Imaginary Warden

03
May
14

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains16

“This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin!  And it still says ‘guilty’.  And ‘guilty’ is spelled wrong.” – Judge Snyder
“Eep.” – Lionel Hutz

24
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains15

“Ha-ha!  Your mom’s a jailbird.” – Nelson Muntz
“So’s yours.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, yeah.  Let’s play.” – Nelson Muntz

27
Feb
14

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains14

“Now, kids, while your mother’s gone, I don’t want to have to wash any dishes.  So, from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we’ll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Bill Oakley! 

12
Aug
13

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains13

“Gotta get a juicer, gotta drink juice, lose weight, won’t get chest pains from answering the phone anymore.” – Homer Simpson

06
May
13

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains12

“And a bottle of aspirin, please.” – Marge Simpson
“The aspirin is $24.95.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“$24.95!” – Marge Simpson
“I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Marge in Chains”!  Original airdate 6 May 1993.

09
Feb
13

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains11

“Alright, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto-freshener that says ‘Capricorn’, and something with coconut on it.” – Chief Wiggum

23
Sep
12

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains10

“Marge, I’m gonna miss you so much, and it’s not just the sex, it’s also the food preparation, your skill with stains of all kinds.  But mostly I’ll miss how lucky you make me feel each and every morning.” – Homer Simpson

14
Jul
12

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains9

“Now, Marge, you’ve come to the right place.  By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey.  Better cut down there, smokey, ha ha ha.” – Lionel Hutz
“Mr. Hutz-” – Marge Simpson
“Look, he’s taking another puff!” – Lionel Hutz

25
Apr
12

Quote of the Day

Marge in Chains8

“I’m sorry, Mr. Homer, but it is the policy of the Kwik-E-Mart, and its parent corporation Nordyne Defense Dynamics, to prosecute shoplifters to the full extent of the law.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Happy birthday Hank Azaria!




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