Dead Homer Society

“Hello, I’m Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?” – Homer Simpson

“I guess guys like us just can’t get a break. Well, at least I can’t sink any lower . . . Come back, diaper! Come back! . . . Hi, ma!” – Barney Gumble

“Ah, dying’s not so bad. I’ll be reunited with my loved ones, my Dad, and that plant I never watered.” – Barney Gumble

“Homer, I’ve got to sneak these valuable artworks out of the White House, but I can’t get out of my driveway because of these protesters!” – George Bush the Elder
“Mr. President, those young people are about to get a dose of reality.” – Homer Simpson

So long, Mr. Bush! 

“Barney, you stole my idea.” – Homer Simpson
“Don’t worry, Homer. There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition.” – Barney Gumble

“Mr. Simpson, I guarantee you, we’ll come up with a commercial that can save your business. You know those radio ads where two people with annoying voices yammer back and forth? I invented those. . . . Happens all the time.” – McMahon and Tate Agent

“Here you go, Mr. Plow, a beer on the house.” – Moe
“Wow, Moe! You didn’t even give a beer to those freed Iranian hostages.” – Barney Gumble
“Ah, they shouldn’t have been there in the first place.” – Moe

“I can’t believe you bought that plow! We can’t afford it.” – Marge Simpson
“If you’re gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I’ll just have to stop doing stupid things.” – Homer Simpson
“Good.” – Marge Simpson
“Fine! I’ll never ever do another stupid thing. Good night!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, Homie, didn’t that hurt?” – Marge Simpson
“No.” – Homer Simpson

“Twenty percent off a Lullaby$! Just tell ’em Big Baby! I know you can hear me! I’m talking to you!” – Barney Gumble
“You sicken me.” – Guy

“But I’m a real tightwad. Can I afford this remarkable system?” – Lisa Simpson
“Absolutely! My prices are so low you’ll think I’ve suffered brain damage.” – Homer Simpson
“You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren’t you, Mr. Plow?” – Bart Simpson
“Shut up, boy.” – Homer Simpson

“Do you come with the car?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, you, hehehe.” – Model
“Do you come with the car?” – Some Guy
“Oh, you, hehehe.” – Model

“The torch has been passed to a new generation of, uh, snow plow people. . . . Come on, gimme the key . . . these look like teeth marks.” – Mayor Quimby
“I thought there was chocolate inside. . . . Well, why was it wrapped in foil?” – Homer Simpson
“It was never wrapped in foil!” – Mayor Quimby

“The snow’s melted, we can go outside again! . . . Oh, I don’t like the looks of those teenagers.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Take it easy, folks, it’s snow-picnic out there!” – Bill
“I snow what you mean.” – Marty
“You’re dead weight, Marty.” – Bill

“Fraid old Zeke, he rides up here with me.  Can’t trust a pig with watermelons, you know.” – Farmer

“And now, to read from the Epistles of St. Paul, Homer Simpson.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know the number to call when you need a plow is KL5-3226.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, this is really low.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Not as low as my low, low prices!” – Homer Simpson

“Our tireless safety engineers crash test over one thousand cars a year.” – Fourth Reich Motors Guy
“Hey, wait, that’s not a dummy.” – Lisa Simpson
“This exhibit is closed!” – Fourth Reich Motors Guy