Dead Homer Society

“Folks, is your marriage stuck in a rut? Can you even remember the last time you felt the thrill of romance? Well, maybe you need: a divorce! Call the divorce specialists now for a consultation and free tote bag!” – Radio Announcer

“Look, honey, I clipped on my tie all by myself.” – Homer Simpson

“Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon His wondrous creation. . . Now, quickly, gaze down at God’s fabulous parquet floor! Eyes on the floor. Still on the floor.” – Not Robert Schuller
“Ow, my ass!” – Homer Simpson
“Always on God’s floor.” – Not Robert Schuller

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Natural Born Kissers”! Original airdate 17 May 1998.

“How do you do, ma’am?” – Carl
“Hope this evening finds you well.” – Lenny
“Oh, knock it off, you perverts.” – Marge Simpson

“Gil, thank God it’s you! You gotta help us!” – Homer Simpson
“Well, that’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’re young, successful, you’re naked. You want a car with a radio, right? You kids like music, right?” – Gil

“Bart, this could be priceless!” – Lisa Simpson
“Priceless like a mother’s love, or the good kind of priceless?” – Bart Simpson

“Okay, here’s the deal: crowns and doubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameos are yours.  Now, as for wands and scepters-” – Bart Simpson
“It’s a bottle cap.” – Lisa Simpson
“Jewel encrusted?” – Bart Simpson