Dead Homer Society

“It’s a special isolation chamber! The subject pulls levers to receive food and warmth, the floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. I call it, the Monroe Box!” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“Uh-huh, well, it sounds interesting. How much will it cost to build?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Oh, that’s the beauty part, it’s already built! I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“What are you trying to prove?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Well, my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe

“What do you think you’re doing?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Mr. Simpson, I dread the day when a hundred thousand dollars isn’t worth groveling for.” – C.M. Burns

“By the way, old timer, I do wills.  Why don’t I just give you this pen with my phone number on it?  It looks just like a cigar!  Isn’t that something?” – Lionel Hutz

“I can tell she really cared for me.  She didn’t make me a pallbearer.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“I couldn’t help overhearing about your new found fortune, and let me assure you that here at the Springfield Retirement Castle, money does make a difference.  I mean, there are rubdowns and then there are rubdowns.” – Retirement Castle Manager
“Listen you bloodsucker, has it ever occurred to you that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings whether they have money or not?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Yes, but it passes.” – Retirement Castle Manager

“Outta my way, I got a date with an angel.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“You don’t know how right you are, Abe.” – Jasper
“What?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night.  It was her ticker.  The doc said her left ventrical burst.” – Jasper
“Oh, no Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventrical, but I know she died of a broken heart.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson