Posts Tagged ‘Old Money

29
Mar
20

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato

27
Mar
18

Quote of the Day

“Mr. Simpson, I presume.” – Not Henry Morton Stanley

Happy birthday, George Meyer! 

27
Mar
17

Quote of the Day

“It’s a special isolation chamber! The subject pulls levers to receive food and warmth, the floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. I call it, the Monroe Box!” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“Uh-huh, well, it sounds interesting. How much will it cost to build?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Oh, that’s the beauty part, it’s already built! I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
“What are you trying to prove?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Well, my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe

08
Jun
16

Quote of the Day

Old Money9

“What do you think you’re doing?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Mr. Simpson, I dread the day when a hundred thousand dollars isn’t worth groveling for.” – C.M. Burns

23
Mar
15

Quote of the Day

Old Money8

“By the way, old timer, I do wills.  Why don’t I just give you this pen with my phone number on it?  It looks just like a cigar!  Isn’t that something?” – Lionel Hutz

24
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Old Money7

“I can tell she really cared for me.  She didn’t make me a pallbearer.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

04
Dec
13

Quote of the Day

Old Money6

“I couldn’t help overhearing about your new found fortune, and let me assure you that here at the Springfield Retirement Castle, money does make a difference.  I mean, there are rubdowns and then there are rubdowns.” – Retirement Castle Manager
“Listen you bloodsucker, has it ever occurred to you that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings whether they have money or not?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Yes, but it passes.” – Retirement Castle Manager

31
May
13

Quote of the Day

Old Money5

“Outta my way, I got a date with an angel.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“You don’t know how right you are, Abe.” – Jasper
“What?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night.  It was her ticker.  The doc said her left ventrical burst.” – Jasper
“Oh, no Jasper, they may say she died of a burst ventrical, but I know she died of a broken heart.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

07
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

USS New Jesery (1948)

Image taken from Wikipedia.

“Herman, a very special lady is having her birthday tomorrow.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Ah, the battleship New Jersey!” – Herman
“No, you idiot!  My girlfriend, Bea.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

14
Feb
12

Quote of the Day

Old Money4

“Well Grampa, nothing says ‘I love you’ better than a military antique!  Let’s take a look at the bayonet case, huh?” – Herman

12
Jan
12

The Fat Man and the Fumbled Sleight of Hand

“Is there room at your table for a foolish old man?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Well, sure!  We’ll have to move a chair in from the den, but it’s no problem.  Bart!” – Homer Simpson

Before we finish up with “Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson”, I want to point out one last trick they used to try and make this out-of-date hodgepodge seem snappy and current.  Like the faces of the various Republican contenders (and the null signs over the pictures of Cain and Bachmann), this was clearly a late addition used to work around the fact that the production schedule prevents them from ever being with the times.  Here is the establishing shot of the Republican meeting where Ted Nugent makes his unexplained appearance:

Eight (Relatively) Skinny Men

After this, the show cuts to a close up of Burns and Homer discussing Homer’s choice.  When Homer balks and asks if they can get Chris Christie, Burns points stage left and we see . . .

One Fat Man

. . . Chris Christie, as out of place as if he were in a flashback.  Partly this is just Zombie Simpsons’ old habit of having characters beam in and out of scenes whenever a line and a half of dialogue calls for it.  But in this case it doubles as another incongruous way to make this episode seem the least bit current.  Just a few seconds after the above cuts back to Homer, he gets his gravy hat shot off by Ted Nugent, and we see that Christie is once again missing from the table:

Eight (Relatively) Skinny Men2

And we’re back to how we were in the original shot.  There’s no Christie, nor is there food all over the place.  Most importantly, it’s all characters they could animate into the scene well in advance, so if Christie had actually run they could’ve shown Mitch Daniels sitting in his wife’s handbag or Tim Pawlenty quivering in a pool of his own flop sweat.

This is just a minor cheat, but it nicely illustrates what a Frankenstein’s monster Zombie Simpsons really is.  It’s made of unrelated pieces (many of them quite old) sewn together and zapped to see if they’ll stand up and walk.  And if they have to staple a few scenes on like a bad toupee to make it look kinda normal, then so be it.

28
Mar
11

Quote of the Day

Old Money3

“Here’s the deal, Grampa, a guy I think was an explorer left this in the bar one night.  It may be a map to ancient treasure, or directions to some guy’s house, but to find out we’ll need money, we’ll need provisions, and a two man diving bell.” – Moe
“It’s pretty stupid, but so far you’re the front runner.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Old Money”!  Original airdate 28 March 1991.

[Edited to fix incorrect punctuation.]

08
Feb
11

Quote of the Day

audreymeadows

Image shamelessly stolen from here.

“Oh Abraham, calm down, I’m not here to scare you.  They’ve got me haunting a family in Texas.” – Ghost of Beatrice Simmons

Audrey Meadows, who was the voice of Bea and played Alice on The Honeymooners, would’ve been 85 today.  Happy birthday! 

09
Jul
10

Quote of the Day

Smells Like Grandpa

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Mat Culpepper.

“You know, Grandpa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom’s all wet.” – Bart Simpson
“Nuh-huh, he smells more like a photo lab.” – Lisa Simpson
“Stop it, both of you! Grandpa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.” – Homer Simpson

01
Mar
10

Quote of the Day

Old Money2

“Yo active wear, I need a price check on a wool shawl.” – Grandma’s World Checkout Clerk

09
Nov
09

Simpsons & Tom Jones

Via our wonderful commenters last week I learned that the scene where Grandpa and Bea flirtatiously take their pills was from the 1963 film version of “Tom Jones”.  (Sadly, Netflix has just informed me that it’s not available on DVD at the moment.  Really?)  That reminded me of this page (it was linked on boingboing two years ago) which has image by image comparisons of famous movie scenes and their Simpsons equivalents.  Here are the “Tom Jones” ones:

Simpsons & Tom Jones There are, obviously, a bunch more on there and if you scroll all the way to the bottom they even have links to a few specific movies. 

05
Nov
09

Thoughtful Gross Out Humor

One of the many great things about The Simpsons was its use of pretty much every form of comedy known to man.  Want intelligent and thoughtful political satire?  Check.  How about some really nasty sexual humor that slipped past the censors?  Oh yeah.  Completely insane (and often monstrous) ideas that nevertheless connect with you the ordinary person?  Indeed.  How about some gross out humor?  How about “yes”. 

The Simpsons was able to elevate to hitherto unknown levels ideas and images that in lesser hands would merely disgust.  There’s explicitly drawn nastiness like the filth encrusted hot dog Apu sells to Homer (“Homer and Apu”) and the twelve foot hoagie that redefined rancid and nauseating (“Selma’s Choice”).  But foul things can also be implied, like Krusty with the “urine” monkey (“I Love Lisa”) and Bart, to the shrieking horror of his classmates, reversing the video of the kittens being born (“Lisa’s Substitute”).  Stuff like this was going all the way back in Season 1, where Wendell vomits on the bus (“Homer’s Odyssey”) and Homer eats a mouthful of bees (“The Call of the Simpsons”).

Some of the above examples are in direct service to the story, others are just there because they’re funny.  But all of them are quick and nothing is drawn out longer than it needs to be.  Another spectacular instance of this can be seen below in images from Season 2’s “Old Money”:Geezer Pill Flirting

That is shudder worthy disgusting.  The whole reason pills come in those dissolvable capsules is because the stuff inside them in blatantly unpalatable.  (Of course, this particular scene isn’t only gross out humor, it also makes fun of old people for being rampantly pathetic.)  Anyone who’s ever swallowed a pill can relate to how nasty the contents can be and how damned hard it’d be to maintain a straight face while tasting that, much less trying to be flirty.  That is an excellent gross out gag. 

Compare that to two of the most notorious examples of failed gross out humor in Season 12.  On the left we have Homer’s surgically repaired knee from “Children of a Lesser Clod”, on the right is one of the hobo sponge baths from “Simpsons Tall Tales”:

Pointless Gross Out Stuff

These are examples of gross things that don’t have much humor in them other than just being gross.  In and of itself that wouldn’t be too terrible, but each one drags on to kill screen time like you wouldn’t believe.  The hobo bath isn’t only long, it also occurs twice.  Homer’s knee is first gawked at by Milhouse and Ralph and then scabs over Ralph’s hand for no real reason.  In each case there isn’t anything else going on.  There’s no subtext or insight, both are just random and have nothing to do with anything.  And, most damningly, they take a long time despite the fact that there’s no joke to either one. 

Like physical violence, gross out humor is a comedy form the show once handled with scalpel precision and now uses as a cudgel.  Sadly, and like physical violence, the decreasing precision has also been accompanied by an increase in usage. 

24
Aug
09

Quote of the Day

Old Money1

“What the hell is that?” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

“Why it’s a Death Ray, my good man.  Behold.” – Prof. Frink

“Hey, feels warm, kinda nice.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

“Well, it is just a prototype.  With proper funding I’m confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City!” – Prof. Frink

“But I want to help people, not kill ‘em!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson

“Oh.  Well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications.  You know my wife will be happy, she’s hated this whole Death Ray thing from day one.” – Prof. Frink

23
Feb
09

Quote of the Day

“Miss, I’m looking for Abe Simpson.  It’s important I get a hold of him; I have to tell him I don’t care about his money and I love him.” – Homer Simpson
“We get that a lot.” – Springfield Retirement Castle Receptionist 



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