“Homer, you will find her a man!” – Marge Simpson
“Alright.” – Homer Simpson
“And not just any man!” – Marge Simpson
“Okay.” – Homer Simpson
“He should be honest and caring and well off . . . and handsome.” – Marge Simpson
“Hey! Why should she have a better husband that you do?” – Homer Simpson
Posts Tagged ‘Principal Charming
Quote of the Day
Happy Simpsons Day!
“Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!” – Principal Skinner
Happy Simpsons Day, everybody! Today marks the 30th anniversary of “Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire” and the beginning of the best ten-ish year streak in television history. I’m sure there are a lot of retrospective pieces up around the internet today, but as you can tell from the near total lack of substantive posts around here, I don’t think there’s much left to be said, so you’re on your own for finding them.
About that total lack of posts: I was hoping to change that starting today, but deadlines are made to be blown. I’m currently in the middle of a rush of real job work, getting over a major hump in my gigantic side project, and moving at the end of the month. So time is scarce.
However, I’ve been plotting a renewed DHS for long enough now that I don’t feel entirely silly disclosing the rough plan. For starters, the site is going to get a facelift. Ten years on the same WordPress theme seems like enough.
As far as actual posts go, I have two ideas that I think would be fun and sustainable as far as time and effort go. The first is to get back into doing Spews Truth From Every Orifice, where I write up the DVD commentaries from good seasons. I’ve only ever listened to maybe a third of them myself, and I figure there’s enough to eat up several more years of this blog’s lonely existence on this has-been planet orbited by a cold indifferent sun.
The second is something I was vehemently against when we started this blog back in 2009: lists. Listicles have a deservedly poor reputation for the simple reason that they’re easy to do and hence mostly thrown together as filler. While I want to avoid warmed over drivel like top episodes or funniest quotes or “times the Simpsons predicted the future”, I think there are commonalities between episodes that lend themselves well to listing, plus it spares me from having to come up with transitions between topics/episodes/whatevers.
Finally, if and when I get some Simpsons posts up around here, I’m also planning to vent regularly about movies and other TV shows, old and new. Some of this will be the hottest of hot taeks about stuff that’s already had too much commentary (the new Star Wars is probably going to be bad, HBO Watchmen fell apart badly in the last three episodes and I don’t know why it’s getting universal praise, and the real reason the Marvel movies are forgettable ephemera: weak villains), some of it will be meta-criticism about the shitty state of movie and TV criticism itself (or at least the stuff I see), and some of it will be praise (fulsome and otherwise) of lower profile stuff I stumble across and end up liking.
So, it’s my usual promise: more posts! And my usual disclaimer: but not now! However, this time there is a plan (sort of).
In the meantime, please go enjoy some ye olde Simpsons on this Simpsoniest of days. Or just re-read my loving take on that very first episode. Happy Simpsons Day!
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Must find man. Must find man. Must find man.” – Homer Simpson
“Sodium tetra-sulfate is highly caustic and can remove your skin. Say when!” – Mrs. Krabappel
“That will do.” – Martin Prince
“What’s this stuff for?” – Bart Simpson
“It’s chiefly used in the manufacture of rayon’s film and as a preservative in fast foot. It’s also quite a potent herbicide.” – Martin Prince
“What’s a herbicide?” – Bart Simpson
“It kills grass.” – Martin Prince
“Excellent.” – Bart Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’ll unload the kids on Patty and Selma Saturday night and then we’ll eat until they kick us out of the place, just like old times!” – Homer Simpson
“Saturday night? I’m not even sure my sisters will be available.” – Marge Simpson
“I’ll take that bet.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ll tell you one thing: Greasy Joe is sorry he ever saw the likes of me.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I don’t see why all this is necessary.” – Patty Bouvier
“C’mon, Patty, you don’t want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“If it isn’t little Jimmy Pierson, class of ’71 I believe.” – Principal Skinner
“Good evening, Principal Skinner.” – Jimmy Pierson
“Pierson! Get this woman a glass of water immediately, and tuck in your shirt . . . Nearly thirty and still working as a busboy. I tell you, standardized testing never lies.” – Principal Skinner
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Quote of the Day
“F . . . L . . . oh, no, I’m sorry, that’s a C, isn’t it?” – Hans Moleman
“If that was an oncoming vehicle you’d be dead now! Next!” – Patty Bouvier
“But driving is my livelihood.” – Hans Moleman
“Oh, take it like a man.” – Patty Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Bart, I’m flabbergasted! Surely you knew as you were writing your own name in forty-foot high letters on the field that you would be caught.” – Principal Skinner
“Maybe it was one of the other Barts, sir.” – Bart Simpson
“There are no other Barts!” – Principal Skinner
Sam Simon would’ve been sixty-years-old today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day
“Aunt Selma, do you think you’ll ever get married?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, I don’t know. Why? You know somebody?” – Selma Bouvier
“No. And since I’m sure that you’d only resent the pity of an eight-year-old niece, I’ll simply hope that you’re one of the statistically insignificant number of forty-year-old single women who ever find their fair prince.” – Lisa Simpson
The Mob Has Spoken