Dead Homer Society

“What’s going on?” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s an old fashioned hole diggin’! By gar, it’s been a while!” – Jasper

“Hey, boy, how’s the microphone working?” – Homer Simpson
“Fine.” – Bart Simpson

“Don’t worry, son. They’re going to make sure no one ever falls down this well again.” – Homer Simpson
“That should do it.” – Groundskeeper Willie

“What are you doing to save my baby boy?” – Marge Simpson
“Well, ma’am, we’ve located a piece of machinery in Shreveport, Louisiana that could pop him out lickety split.” – Chief Wiggum
“Well, why don’t you get it?” – Marge Simpson
“I’m afraid we’ve got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo.” – Chief Wiggum
“You’re telling me that the city won’t pay to get a boy out of a well!” – Marge Simpson
“Well, they would have for Timmy, people loved that little guy. But your son, well, he kinda played us all for a bunch of saps.” – Chief Wiggum

“People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless!” – Bart Simpson
“Ahhhhh!” – Homer Simpson
“We have captured your President, he was delicious.” – Bart Simpson

“With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I’ll land your boy. And I’ll clean him for free.” – Not Quint