Dead Homer Society

“Screw the honor system, my car needs me!” – Snake
“Hey, you’re ruining it for the rest of us!” – Kearney

“Look, Daddy, I’m the Jealous Jockey!” – Rod Flanders
“I’m a torso!” – Todd Flanders

“Wow, honey, you sold a house and got rid of the Flanders! . . . What’s for dinner?” – Homer Simpson

“Marge, it’s a real pleasure! . . . You got any leads? I need some leads. Please, help me.” – Gil
“That’s enough, Gil. Don’t drag her down with you.” – Lionel Hutz

“Are you guys talking about the West Side?” – Cookie Kwan
“No, Cookie! I swear it! I’m scared of you.” – Gil

“Helping people find homes, that must be really rewarding.” – Marge Simpson
“Yes, the money is good. But the beauty is you get to stay in the house until it’s sold. C’mon, guys, let’s go for a swim.” – Lionel Hutz

“Selling real estate could be just what I’m looking for. I’d really like to give it a try.” – Marge Simpson
“I don’t know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Realty Bites”! Original airdate 7 December 1997.

“That’s Cookie Kwan. She’s number one on the west side.” – Lionel Hutz
“Hi, Marge! . . . Stay off the west side!” – Cookie Kwan

“Please don’t tell anyone how I live.” – Lenny

“So, you’re married and looking for your first house, Mr. and Mrs….” – Marge Simpson
“Superman.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, don’t listen to my husband. He’s just an idiot.” – Lisa Simpson

“Alright, I hear you, honey.  Change into something nice, we’re stepping out!” – Homer Simpson
“The police auction?” – Marge Simpson
“Can you believe it?  It’s already been a year.” – Homer Simpson

“Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak, have you ever considered selling your home?” – Marge Simpson
“What?  No!  Why?  What?  What?  What have you heard?  Are you implying I’m in some sort of financial trouble?” – Moe
“No.” – Marge Simpson
“Well, I am.  Lemme have that card.” – Marge Simpson

“Marge, I had a lot of calls about you.  Customers love your no pressure approach.” – Lionel Hutz
“Well, like we say, ‘The right house, for the right person’.” – Marge Simpson
“Listen, it’s time I let you in on a little secret, Marge.  The right house is the house that’s for sale.  The right person, is anyone.” – Lionel Hutz

“Ah, I love these real Saturdays.  They’re so relaxing, not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.” – Homer Simpson

“I love these lazy Saturdays.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s Wednesday, Homer.” – Marge Simpson
“Ahh!  Work!” – Homer Simpson

“You see, the law business is a little slow, and since most of my clients wind up losing their houses, this was a natural move for me.” – Lionel Hutz

“Ooh, I remember.  Mrs. Astor was very lucky.” – Marge Simpson

“Doesn’t this car have seatbelts?” – Lisa Simpson
“Seatbelts, pfft.  They kill more people than they save.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s not true, you’re thinking of airbags!” – Lisa Simpson

“These prestigious wrought iron security gates are bullet proof, bomb proof, and battering ram resistant.  Now-” – Chief Wiggum
“Then what happened to Johnny D?” – Principal Skinner
“He forgot to lock them.” – Chief Wiggum

“Hey, Skinner, wanna drag race?” – Homer Simpson
“My high school sweetheart was killed in a drag racing accident.” – Principal Skinner
“Come on, it’ll be fun.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s what Debbie-Sue said.” – Principal Skinner