Posts Tagged ‘Simpsons Bible Stories


Quote of the Day

“So long, kids! Give my regards to the British Museum.” – Ancient Egyptian Wiggum


Quote of the Day

“Jonah! You died the way you lived: inside a whale.” – King David


Quote of the Day

“Alright, read me back what I have so far, Mrs. Krabappelpatra.” – Pharaoh Skinner
“Bird, bird, giant eye, pyramid, bird.” – Mrs. Krabappelpatra
“Very good, uh, giant eye, dead fish, cat heat, cat head, cat head, guy doing this…” – Pharaoh Skinner


Quote of the Day

Simpsons Bible Stories5

“Oh, my dear sweet Eve, I love you even more than the Butterscotch Pond or the Porno Bush.” – Adam


Quote of the Day

Simpsons Bible Stories4

“Is there any grub around here?” – Eve
“Is there!” – Adam
“Good morning, Adam, any bacon for you, then?” – Edenic Pig
“Don’t mind if I do.” – Adam


Quote of the Day

Simpsons Bible Stories3

“A chocolate bunny!  Who put this wicked idol in the collection plate?” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Relax, I found it in the dumpster.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Simpsons Bible Stories2

“And, as we pass the collection plate, please give as though the person next to you were watching.” – Reverend Lovejoy


Crazy Noises: Simpsons Bible Stories

Simpsons Bible Stories1

“So, what’s next for the Israelites, land of milk and honey?” – Exodus Milhouse
“Well, actually it looks like we’re in for forty years of wandering the desert.” – Exodus Lisa
“Forty years?  But after that, it’s clear sailing for the Jews, right?” – Exodus Milhouse

For the third summer in a row, we at the Dead Homer Society are looking to satisfy your off-season longing for substandard commentary on substandard Simpsons.  This summer we’ll be looking at Season 10.  Why Season 10?  Because we’ve already done Seasons 8 and 9 and we can’t put it off any longer.  Prior to Season 10, we watched as the show started falling over, this is when it fell over.  And while the dust wouldn’t settle completely for another season or so, there is no bigger gap in quality than the one between Season 9 and Season 10.  Since we prefer things to remain just as they were in 1995, we’re sticking with this chatroom thing instead of some newer means of communication that we all know just isn’t as good.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “hieroglyphics”).

Today’s episode is 1018, “Simpsons Bible Stories”.  Yesterday’s was 1017, “Maximum Homerdrive”.

Charlie Sweatpants: I find the Bible episode more underwhelming than anything else.

Mad Jon: This feel like something they sat on for a while.

Charlie Sweatpants: The stories aren’t bad, exactly, but given the material they didn’t perform at a level above what you’d expect from post-12:30 SNL.

Mad Jon: Well, it is the last episode on disc three…. I am usually asleep by the last two on a disc.

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s hardly an excuse.

Mad Jon: Fair enough.

Charlie Sweatpants: I mean, it’s the Old Testament. That’s been a comedy goldmine for a very, very long time, and here they just treated as an easy target and moved on.

Mad Jon: There are some good lines here, but the story is exactly what you said, underwhelming.

Charlie Sweatpants: Exactly.

Mad Jon: What can you really do with three six-minute segments of the Old Testament without Troy McClure?

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not without its charm, but the whole thing combined isn’t as memorable as the opening to "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment".

  I see we were on the same page there.

Mad Jon: Oh yeah.

Charlie Sweatpants: But that’s sort of the point.

When Homer is the thief with the adulterer and the guy whose job (repeat: his job) it is to carve graven images, that’s got a Simpsons twist.

Mad Jon: What bothers me about this one is the little things.

  1. The order in which they fall asleep is completely backwards.

Marge and Lisa before Homer and Bart? Not on the coldest day in hell,

Charlie Sweatpants: Enh.

Mad Jon: Meh, probably should remove the "1." from that.

  But still there is more.

Charlie Sweatpants: Really, no other little things?

Mad Jon: Ned as God? Again, where is McClure and his 5 fingers?

Charlie Sweatpants: I didn’t notice the five fingers thing, but I think you’re right.

Mad Jon: The groans for the good book were louder than the ones for the fans being turned off?

Charlie Sweatpants: Okay, that’s a pretty good 2.

But the only thing in this one that really bugs me is when they wake up and the apocalypse is on.

I get that it’s a storytelling episode and all, but that was one of those things that even in Season 10 I find jarring outside of a Halloween episode.

Mad Jon: Oh the apocalypse is just off the cliff.

  That is what made me think they were sitting on these for a while.

They probably wrote the stories for a rainy day, and just added the front and back when they needed ammo for this season.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m less concerned with how they wrote it that how little effort they put into it.

Mad Jon: They were pretty basic stories with Simpsons characters thrown in.

Charlie Sweatpants: I mean, why was Nelson so giant? What was with the Ralph thing?

  Why does Homer have Lenny and Carl killed?

Mad Jon: Yeah, that was the kind of laziness that you defend by saying it was supposed to be random funniness.

Charlie Sweatpants: There’s just too damn many lazy jokes.

Mad Jon: Not you as in you, but the royal you of course.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’d subtract the "funniness" from random.

Mad Jon: On an aside, did you decode the hieroglyphic chalkboard sentences Bart wrote?

Charlie Sweatpants: No? Was I supposed to?

Mad Jon: I was trying to, and I feel pretty confidant in everything but the final character. " I will not D —–"

  With the final character being the pharaoh’s head or something. I didn’t feel like spending anymore time on it.

So I was hoping you got it as you are generally more observant about these things then I am.

Charlie Sweatpants: I did like Skinner dictating to Krabappel.

Mad Jon: Minus the recycled "put away the encouragement whip…" line, I did like the omni-lash joke as well.

And from the first skit, I liked Homer’s line about Marge being uptight for a naked chic.

Charlie Sweatpants: There are a couple of lines like that. I’m fond of the "porno bush".

Mad Jon: And I refer to animals as land monsters a lot too.

Charlie Sweatpants: I like the unicorn. Well, at first, when he’s got that weak kid voice and is like "I’ll be fine".

Mad Jon: Gary was funny.

Charlie Sweatpants: My favorite line in the episode is probably Wiggum’s "Give my regards to the British Museum".

Mad Jon: Also funny.

  And I liked Bart as David saying that Jonah died like he lived.

Charlie Sweatpants: Again though, given the material you’d expect them to do better.

Mad Jon: I was starting to type "Again though" as well, but to say that we are again pointing out bit lines that, for the most part, did nothing for the plot one way or the other.

Not that these 3.5 stories were bad, but just not that entertaining.

Charlie Sweatpants: Pretty much.

  I can think of one exception. Lovejoy telling them to "Give as though the person next to you were watching." That lead to him being pissed at Homer and reading the Old Testament.

There. One good line that advanced the plot.

Mad Jon: I guess, he could have been pissed about the chocolate bunny without that line, but I’ll give ’em that one.

Charlie Sweatpants: And as a sign I liked "Christ Dyed Eggs for Your Sins".

Mad Jon: It is a funny line. I generally enjoy it when Lovejoy threatens the congregation into tithing.

That follows a theme of this season as well, the signs that have always been good are still pretty good.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, there were a couple in "Maximum Homerdrive", as well as the radio call sign thing, which may be the funniest thing in both of these episodes.

Mad Jon: That is kind of a bad omen… But I can’t argue with your statement.

The signs were always like the cherry on the banana split, it’s painful that I have to eat a turd sundae for the cherry nowadays…

Charlie Sweatpants: Turd sundae is harsher than I’d be, but I can’t really argue against it.

Mad Jon: Well, maybe a dirt sundae, or a double scoop of non-fat ice milk or something, but my point is relatively valid.

Charlie Sweatpants: Like I said, I can’t really argue against that. Anything else here? It isn’t like there’s a lot to unpack in this one. None of the stories really stand out as better or worse, all of them are just kinda meh.

  A few good lines, a weird, unnecessary twist ending, and not much else.

Mad Jon: I can’t really add much to that.

Charlie Sweatpants: There are only so many things you can say about the unremarkable.

Mad Jon: Like meh?

Charlie Sweatpants: Meh.

Mad Jon: Ok. I am ready to be done.

Charlie Sweatpants: Damn, I was hoping you’d go for triple meh. I think I might have been extra blase about that . . . maybe.

Mad Jon: Meh.


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