Posts Tagged ‘Team Homer

07
Jan
20

Quote of the Day

“Then I just need your five hundred dollar registration fee.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“Five hundred dollars! . . . Oh, no problem. Would you take an out of state, two-party bad check?” – Homer Simpson

29
Jun
19

Quote of the Day

“Might as well close the dump.” – Moe
“I am going to drink you under the table.” – Mayor Quimby
“No, I am going to drink you under the . . . aww.” – Alcoholic Boston Irishman

07
Jan
19

Quote of the Day

“So, we meet again, Mad Magazine.” – Principal Skinner
“How do you know it’s from Mad?” – Bart Simpson
“The year was 1968, we were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flak jacket, revealing a t-shirt with an iron-on sporing the Mad slogan, ‘Up With Miniskirts’. Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn’t quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed Charlie to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can’t get the spices right!” – Principal Skinner

02
Oct
18

Quote of the Day

“Stop everything! I don’t remember writing a check for bowling.” – C.M. Burns
“The memo says, “To my pal Poppin’ Fresh’.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, yes, that greedy grasping glob of chemicals.” – C.M. Burns
“Probably one of your ether induced hallucinations, sir. I’ll check the employee files to see who could pull off such an impersonation. . . . It was either Pops Freshenmeyer or Homer Simpson.” – Mr. Smithers

Happy Birthday Mike Scully! 

16
Jul
18

Makeup Quote of the Day

“No, I will not pay you five hundred dollars for sex!” – Marge Simpson
“Aw, come on, Marge! You’re getting something in return, and I’m getting a bowling team. It’s win-win!” – Homer Simpson
“It’s sick! And I don’t have that kind of money to spend on sex.” – Marge Simpson

07
Jan
18

Quote of the Day

“Well, you’re closing. It’s getting late. My kids are probably wondering where their daddy is. . . . There’s gotta be some other place we can go! Think, Moe! Think!” – Homer Simpson

14
Jun
17

Quote of the Day

“I almost forgot! I brought you all a little something.” – C.M. Burns
“Aw, would you look at that? The Pin Pals.” – Moe
“At last! I finally have a garment fine enough to be married in.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

07
Jan
17

Quote of the Day

team-homer17

“Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.” – Moe

07
Jul
16

Quote of the Day

Team Homer16

“The Mad Magazine special edition! They only put out seventeen of these a year!” – Bart Simpson
“Boy, they’re really socking it to that Spiro Agnew guy again. He must work there or something.” – Milhouse van Houten

07
Jan
16

Quote of the Day

Team Homer15

“Gee, business stinks tonight.  Where’s Barney, Lenny and Carl?” – Moe
“Ah, they never come around anymore now that they’ve got their mistresses.” – Homer Simpson

12
Jul
15

Quote of the Day

LobsterHarmonica

“I don’t care if it takes me all night, I’m gonna get me that lobster harmonica!  C’mon, Lobsty! . . . Oh.” – Otto

07
Jan
15

Quote of the Day

Team Homer14

“Ah, these uniforms are a godsend.  Horseplay is down forty percent, youthful exuberance has been cut in half, high spirits are at an all time low.” – Principal Skinner

25
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Team Homer13

“I can’t believe I got booted off the team for Mr. Businessman.  I bet I’ll get a little respect once I get that Harvard diploma.” – Otto

31
Mar
14

Behind Us Forever: You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee

Chalkboard - You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee

“I guess some people never change.  Or, they quickly change, and then quickly change back.” – Homer Simpson

Zombie Simpsons has enough systemic and repetitive problems that I would never try to identify one that really breaks it, but the way that none of the characters ever act like themselves is especially annoying.  Gaping plot holes, weak and joke free dialogue, lazy product parodies, characters appearing out of nowhere, these are all problems.  But when they take characters we all know and love and have them act like versions of themselves that have suffered personality altering brain injuries it really drives home just how different this show is from The Simpsons.

Just in this episode we see Skinner completely unable to run a school assembly, Marge be rude to strangers, Lisa easily fall to pieces, and Homer be athletic, overly sensitive, strangely smart, and competent.  I’m not sure who these people are supposed to be anymore.  Each and every one of them can act wildly differently depending on what specific scene they’re in, which means that almost no matter what they do it’s too random to be funny or interesting.  Security camera footage has better character consistency and development.

– Regular old, time killing Zombie Simpsons couch gag.  Feh.  Can we dig up Charles Schulz and have him do one?

– It’s not a big deal or anything, but real Skinner would never have put up with the kids shouting things from the stands while he’s talking.

– I was bored with the Lincoln-Douglas scene.  Then there was a mechanical backboard arm that looks like it should be in Futurama, and now I really just want it to end.

– Ooh, a joke about Subway Jared.  Timely.

– Watching incompetent Skinner flail about is really painful.  Not as bad as happy, incompetent Burns, but very bad.

– A Jerkass Homer montage, that’s what this episode really needed.

– So the contest wrapped itself up just as stupidly as it began with there being a tie.  I’m sure glad we spent a bunch of time on getting it set up.

– FIFA isn’t exactly hard to mock, but Zombie Simpsons managed to botch it with its usual methods of expository jokes and senseless scenes.  Well done.

– This scene in the airplane with the Marge’s tablet has it all: takes too long, joke free, and makes no sense.

– Ugh, if they’re going to repeat the joke from “Marge vs. The Monorail” where the whole town is empty and Snake robs it with Luxembourg, they could have at least made a Luxembourg-ish Snake.  Now it’s not just a direct repeat, it’s a nonsensical direct repeat.

– Homer has wandered out of a restaurant because the plot was getting bored with itself.

– The gangsters talking about just having “two very good ways” with money and guns was almost funny.

– Onto our second montage nice and quick.

– “Dad, is it hard for you to turn these bribes down?” – Thanks, exposition Bart.

– If they did these scenes where they try to be ironically detached about how cheap their plot turns are once or twice per season, that’d be one thing.  But they do this every damned week.  Bart and Homer might as well be looking directly at the camera to explain what’s going on.

– “Where are you going?”, Homer then describes exactly what he’s gonna do.

– Hey, here’s Lisa, whom we haven’t seen for the last ten minutes or so, to help wrap things up.

– And now we’re treated to a minute of them telling us exactly how they feel.

– Here’s Marge to protect Homer from the gangsters.  Where did she come from?  Did she know what was going on?  It’s best not to ask.

– And now that guy’s mother is there.  Plot conflict resolved!

– Despite all the drawn out scenes, they still came in way, way short, so we got treated to the family taking a random trip down the Amazon to see Krusty.  Yeesh.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are just as bad this week as they’ve been since they came back with that double episode at the beginning of March.  Last night just 3.94 million viewers wished they were watching a 0-0 tie between Mexico and Portugal.  That’s almost identical to last week’s 3.93 and is good for fifth place on the all time least watched list.

This week’s historically terrible number has also pushed Season 25’s average total viewership to a mere 5.45 million viewers, which puts it just below Season 24’s 5.47 average.  I don’t feel like looking it up or anything, but my strong suspicion is that this is the earliest (just 16 episodes in) that any season has claimed that title.  Barring a miracle, Season 25 will continue the Zombie Simpson tradition of being the least watched season ever.  The only real question now is how low it will sink.  I doubt it’ll go below 5 million, but they are really hitting bottom this spring, so anything is possible.

04
Feb
14

Quote of the Day

Team Homer12

“Stop everything!  I don’t remember writing a check for bowling.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh, sir, that’s a check for your boweling.” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, yes, that’s very important.” – C.M. Burns
“Yes, sir.  Remember that month you didn’t do it.” – Mr. Smithers
“Yes, that was unpleasant for all concerned.” – C.M. Burns

19
Nov
13

Quote of the Day

Team Homer11

“Mom, my slingshot doesn’t fit in these pockets, and these shorts leave nothing to the imagination, these uniforms suck.” – Bart Simpson
“Bart!  Where do you pick up words like that?” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night.  They just plain sucked.  I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, watch your mouth!” – Marge Simpson
“I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.” – Homer Simpson

01
Aug
13

Quote of the Day

Team Homer10

“Sorry, it’s league night.  I couldn’t give a lane to my own mother.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“I have no son.” – Lunchlady Doris

15
Mar
13

Quote of the Day

David Silverman Trophy Case

“Aw, Marge, we were so close to winning the championship.  Now thanks to Burns it’s never gonna happen, and I spent so much time building that trophy case.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday David Silverman!

17
Oct
12

Quote of the Day

Team Homer8

“I was wondering if you’d like to sponsor my bowling team for five hundred dollars?” – Homer Simpson
“Why certainly Poppin’ Fresh!  I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple bleached goo.” – C.M. Burns

31
Jul
12

Quote of the Day

Team Homer7

“Burns never gives money to anybody.  Just last week I asked him for fifteen hundred dollars.” – Homer Simpson
“For what?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, I gotta get the third degree from you too?” – Homer Simpson




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