Posts Tagged ‘The Springfield Files

31
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“It’s such a beautiful night, how about a ghost story?” – Homer Simpson
“…and that’s how much college will cost for Maggie!” – Bart Simpson
“No! No! Nooooo!” – Homer Simpsonr

12
Jan
18

Quote of the Day

“I’m telling you: I saw a creature from another planet!” – Homer Simpson
“Maybe you just dreamed it?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, yeah? Well, when I came to I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo. Explain that!” – Homer Simpson
“More sausage?” – Marge Simpson

30
Jun
17

Quote of the Day

“Yo, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer?” – Bart Simpson
“Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys and kids with fake I.D.s.” – Homer Simpson

12
Jan
17

Quote of the Day

the-springfield-files19

“I just torched a building downtown and I’m afraid I’ll do it again!” – Arsonist
“Oh, yeah, right. I’ll just type it up on my invisible typewriter.” – Chief Wiggum

21
Oct
16

Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXVII

the-springfield-files18

“No! No, let me explain! Every Friday evening after work Mr. Burns undergoes a series of medical treatments designed to cheat death for another week.” – Mr. Smithers 

I’ve been staying with friends in Arlington, VA this week and doing the D.C. tourist thing in Our Nation’s Capital while a constant loop of “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington” plays inside my head (with a side order of “Amendment to Be“). That left watching another lifeless Zombie Simpsons Halloween special pretty low on my priority list. But watch it I did, and it was, well, lifeless.

At the risk of repeating myself, the attention span of Zombie Simpsons has grown so short that they can’t even write coherent 6-7 minute segments. Like several previous Halloween episodes, this one was atomized even further, starting with an opening sketch with fan service ghosts, then going into a long couch gag that was a parody of Planet of the Apes called “Planet of the Couches” (<- creative!). After that they did their three main segments before ending with a 600th episode montage that made me pine for the days when they refused to celebrate meaningless milestones.

The first segment was a Hunger Games/Mad Max 4 mashup where Burns somehow had taken all the water. Here’s a typically brainless scene:

Lisa: Oh, God, me and my big mouth.
Marge: Ooh, I just donated the winter clothes.
Ralph: I’m a god in this reality.
Lisa: Sure, why not?

After that was an exposition heavy segment where Lisa’s imaginary best friend kills a bunch of people. Remember that line from “Hell Toupee” where Lisa exclaims, “Of course, the transplant! Somehow Snake’s hair must be controlling…” and then Marge cuts her off because everyone’s already figured that out? This segment was an extended exercise in ignoring that. Observe:

Imaginary Best Friend: Hey, Lisa, let’s gossip about boys. Isn’t Milhouse so cute? Oh, of course, he suffocated.
Lisa: My Mom was so right when she said I didn’t need you anymore.
Imaginary Best Friend: Oh, I see, so nosy old Marge was the reason you moved on from me.
Lisa: Oh, no, she’ll kill Mom! What do I do?

Finally there was a Kingsman thing where Moe is secretly running a spy agency out of the bar. Homer is some kind of villain, a lot of it is a weird action sequence that kills a lot of time by killing a lot of people, and then it ends for no apparent reason. As usual, about half the dialogue is them explaining what we’re seeing, but I think I’ve quoted this thing enough.

Anyway, the ratings are long since in and they remain bad even when they’re good. On Sunday, Zombie Simpsons managed to pull 7.44 million viewers, by far their highest since last January when they had playoff football as a lead-in. Unfortunately, since the post-game show had 15.38 million viewers, they once again managed to lose more than 50% of their NFL lead-in.

15
Jul
16

Quote of the Day

Hello

“Thank God, it’s Friday.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Hello?  Hello?” – Hans Moleman

12
Jan
16

Quote of the Day

The Springfield Files17

“Mr. Simpson, look at this lineup and tell us if any of these are the aliens you saw.” – Agent Scully
“Yo!” – ALF
“No, I’m sorry.” – Homer Simpson




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