Dead Homer Society

“Ladies and gentlemen, most of you already know that with a little love and compassion, any puppy will grow up to be a cuddly little bundle of joy. . . . Stuff and nonsense taught by charlatans and learned by bloody twits!” – Emily Winthrop

Happy birthday Tracey Ullman!

“There are two ways for a dog to relieve himself.  One is like a faithful friend and partner for life.  The other is like a hose without a fireman.  Which way do you think that was, Mr. Simpson?” – Emily Winthrop
“Like a hose . . . your wrinkled highness.” – Bart Simpson

Happy birthday Tracey Ullman!

“Is my dog dead, ma’am?” – Bart Simpson
“You don’t know how often I’m asked that.  ‘Choke chain’ is a misnomer, trust me, they are always breathing.” – Emily Winthrop

Happy birthday Tracey Ullman! 

“Since you get paid either way, would it be a big deal to just let my dog pass?” – Bart Simpson
“I see, rubber stamp, thank you very much, next in line, is that it?” – Emily Winthrop
“Yeah.” – Bart Simpson
“Heavens to Mergatroyd.  Bart, perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well chewed shoe as the traditions I was weaned on are put to sleep or neutered one by one.  But my time has not passed yet!  The world does not need another college graduate who doesn’t know how to Sit!” – Emily Winthrop

Happy Birthday Tracey Ullman!