Posts Tagged ‘Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish


Quote of the Day

“Ironic, isn’t it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you!” – C.M. Burns
“You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.” – Mr. Smithers

Sam Simon would’ve been 63 today. Happy birthday.


Quote of the Day

“Well, as long as I’m asking something, can I ask him to assuage my fears that he’s contaminating the planet in a manner that may one day render it uninhabitable?” – Lisa Simpson
“No, dear, the card question will be fine.” – Burns for Governor Campaign Manager


Quote of the Day

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish13

“I wonder if he’s going to say anything about that horrible fish?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, Marge, what’s the big deal? I bet before the papers blew this out of proportion you didn’t even know how many eyes a fish had.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: [Yawn] What Time Is It?


“Just resting my eyes!” – Homer Simpson
“Ah, well done, a rested employee is a vigilant employee.” – C.M. Burns
“Monitoring station unmanned.” – Nuclear Inspector 

And we are back. I missed you all during my uneventful absence. I’m tentatively planning to do doing Reading Digest on Thursdays now, but we’ll see. Links, ahoy:

Kamp Krusty – A great new fan site with a ton of Simpsons images and memes you can download. The creator was nice enough to email this in last month, and I’m just getting to it now. (If you’ve sent an e-mail to the deadhomersociety gmail account in the last six months or so, please be patient. I’ve got it cleaned out, but I haven’t started begging forgiveness for the lateness of my replies yet.)

The Simpsons Decade: An Introduction – If you’re going to propose a unified theory of 90s comedy, you really have only one option for the overarching framework.


Fan-Made Simpsons Couch Gag Is Filled With Classic References – It’s not so much a couch gag as it is a short cartoon, but it’s cute and has a nice, Simpsons-y score.

How Murray Saved Christmas with Mike Reiss and Parker Denton by Jingle Friends – Mike Reiss discussing his book/movie on a podcast that describes itself as “Non-believers gettin’ into the Christmas spirit!”. It’s a neat discussion about his career and writing in general. He talks about working with Jean around the 10 minute mark. At the 17 minute mark or so he starts talking about the movie script. They went through 160 odd drafts; he thought the best one was the fifth. Sigh.

WATCH: Director David Silverman Talks All Things ‘The Simpsons’ at FMX 2015 – A couple of YouTube videos of Silverman discussing the early days of the show. At the 8 minute mark of the first video he describes how crazy things were right when the show came out. He was wearing a Simpsons jacket at a mall right when the Christmas special first came out and got mobbed.

‘The Simpsons’ Fans Trolling News Sites, And It’s Hilarious – I doubt very much that this is in any way organized, but it is pretty funny.

The Inanimate Carbon Pod Episode 6(The Simpsons Season 4 Continued) – Stumbled on this a few days ago. I feel their pain when it comes to “shitty Simpsons”.

Simpsons superfan covers her bod in £12,000 worth of tattoos inspired by the cartoon – That is impressive.

The Simpsons Predicted the Panama Papers and Offshore Tax Evasion – Well, sort of, but Esquire does agree with us:

Of course, this is by no means a coincidence. Everything that has happened in The Simpsons‘ 27 seasons (10 of which are good) will eventually come to fruition in real life.

I’m looking forward to the dolphins taking over and throwing all copies of Zombie Simpsons into the sea.

(In other news, if any of you have read my geeky movie rant and felt like tossing a review up on Amazon, I would be grateful.)


Epic Agreement (And Show Still on Hiatus)

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish12

“Holy moly, nine-thirty!  Hello, Marge, sorry I didn’t call, but it’s been a madhouse down here.  Yeah, these twelve hour days are killing me.” – Homer Simpson

My apologies, but there won’t be a Reading Digest this week.  I am eyeballs deep in my stupid real job.  However, there are two things I’d like to note.

First, the radio silence regarding the show being on hiatus continues.  I checked a few staff Twitter accounts and haven’t seen peep outside of Jean responding to someone from No Homers that the negotiations are ongoing.  (Sadly, Isabel Vega has deleted her Twitter account after her tweets kept popping up here and elsewhere in Simpsons fandom.  Sorry, Isabel!  Really didn’t want to get you in trouble or anything.)  One of the last tweets from Vega was that increasing numbers of staff are being told not to come in and that people around the office are worried:

That moment when a director goes around saying good-bye to the remaining crew saying “See you next season, if there is one…” #TheSimpsons

So we’re about where we were last week: nobody’s saying squat.  That is probably for the best, since swirling rumors and ill sourced media speculation don’t have any bearing on the negotiations but do get a lot of people agitated for no reason.  My money continues to be on the show getting renewed.

Second, and far more fun, is this fantastic article (that mentions Zombie Simpsons by name) about the unrivaled cultural legacy of the show:

The Simpsons – the Shakespeare of our time?

We’re automatically programmed to know that Dickens was the greatest writer of his day. It’s reasonable to assume that in the 19th century he was just really, really popular. Nobody in that age would have guessed that they would be teaching his work in primary schools a century down the line. The reason they do so is because it was the most accurate satire of Victorian England, much like The Simpsons to the modern West.

I highly recommend the whole thing.


Behind Us Forever: Opposites A-frack

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish11

“Leave it to good old Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.” – Marge Simpson

This week on Zombie Simpsons, Burns does something we saw him do much funnier twenty years ago, but he also falls in love and becomes a softy for a while.  In between, Patty and Selma live with the Simpsons for a while, Marge, Lisa and Smithers vanish for most of the episode, Homer gets another new job, and there’s a big explosion.

– No couch gag this week, so what they left in must be pure gold!

– Marge is buttering Homer up with pork chops because Patty & Selma need a place to stay.  If you guessed that Patty & Selma weren’t in the house right up until they mysteriously appeared in the house as if by transporter, you win absolutely nothing.

– Homer is repeating the word “teensy” for some reason.  I guess that got a big laugh at the table read?

– So the conflict here is that Patty & Selma aren’t supposed to smoke in the house.  Homer has put smoke detectors all over the place to catch them.  Then it starts raining instantly so they can’t go outside.  The instant rain thing was funny in “Bart the Murderer” because it was a joke.  Here it’s a plot crutch for an already nonsensically weak plot.  It won’t be the last.

– Hey, a decent sign gag that didn’t get read out load “Once Your Lungs Go Black, They Never Go Back”.

– They put a new bathroom in the house for no discernible reason.  It’s under the stairs because Patty & Selma were by the stairs.  They want to smoke there because, for some other indiscernible reason, Homer didn’t put smoke detectors in the bathroom.  This show cannot even maintain a joke, much less a story.  It’d almost be impressive in its sloppiness if we hadn’t seen it so many times before.

– Hey, look, the main story has arrived!  The water in the bathroom caught on fire.

– Lisa just scrolled over a bunch of movies titles on her tablet.  They were supposed to be depressing documentaries, so most of them were just “noun of death”.

– Hey, it’s a joke free explanation of fracking.  I love it when they pre-explain things.

– So, Lisa and Bart just teleported into the Rich Texan’s office where she exposited for a while, before he told us he was going to dance, then danced.  I realize that sentence makes no sense to anyone who hasn’t seen this episode, but, trust me, you’re not missing anything.

– Lisa discovers there’s a fracking site in the neighborhood by looking at a satellite picture.  Why?  Because they’re keeping people away with a sign that says “Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame”.  How did she never notice this building that is in her neighborhood?  Don’t ask.  But they compound it by having her praise women’s basketball, which makes the whole thing make even less sense.

– Also too, the kids just walked into the building.  Then Burns and Smithers pull up in a cart and Burns begins explaining things to Lisa.  Is there any reason for him to do this?  No.  Is it the opposite of something Burns would actually do?  Yes.

– Lisa then exposits the existence of Maxine Lombard, a Nancy Pelosi type voiced by Jane Fonda.  I miss Mary Bailey.

– After a really boring and repetitive hearing, Burns just barged into her office for a slow, cliche filled fall in love moment between Burns and Not Pelosi.  They apparently slept on the floor under a flag for some reason.

– Hey, how about another non-sequitor?  Now Burns needs to buy the mineral rights under Evergreen Terrace.  How do we know this?  Because he just told us.  Does it have anything to do with his romance with whatshername?  Of course not.  Jebus this script is sloppy.

– And, right on cue, Burns picks Homer to be his salesman.

– We then get a series of quick cuts of Homer being good at his new job.  It ate some time.

– Marge and Lisa are opposed to this, of course, with Marge reminding that “the water was on fire”.  She will be saying this a lot.

– Homer wins some kind of debate with Frink (don’t ask) and now everyone has sold their mineral rights.  Burns, being Zombie Burns, has second thoughts and asks Homer for relationship advice.

– Homer has the “signed gas leases”, which are all complete except for Marge’s signature not being on one.  This somehow comes as a surprise during a ceremony to turn on the fracking.  Then Burns and whatshername have a breakup as cliched and nonsensical as when they got together.  Also, Smithers is back after a long and unexplained absence.

– Burns was going to fire Homer, but now they’re talking about relationships again.  Then a wrecking ball breaks into Burns Manor because whatshername decided to . . . you know what?  Screw this.  It’s too weird and nonsensical even to recap.

– Hey, there’s an NPR guy who shows up, tells us his name, and then wanders off.

– Now Burns and Homer are turning the fracking machine back on out of revenge or something.

– Want to know what’s happening?  The show will gladly tell you:

Marge: Is one of the side effects of fracking earthquakes?
Lisa: Yes.

Glad we cleared that up.

– Jane Fonda just showed back up out of nowhere

– And Marge just repeated the water thing for the sixth time or so.  Oh, and now Homer’s burning down the fracking thingie and it explodes.

– Because the ending was apparently not explained enough already, Burns is helpfully expositing it some more.

– And it ends with Burns and whatshername in bed being boring to run out the clock.  What a mess.

Anyway, the numbers are in and, sans football, they are expectedly terrible.  Just 4.24 million people wished they were seeing Burns run his Slant Drilling Company again.  That’s the lowest of the young season and good for #7 on the all time least watched list.

There’s a very clear dichotomy now between the weeks when FOX has a late NFL game and when they don’t.  The three episodes this year with a football lead were watched by 8.50 million, 7.34 million, and 7.64 million viewers.  The two episodes without a football lead in were watched by 4.32 and 4.24 million viewers.  FOX does have a late national game next week for the Futurama crossover, so I fearlessly predict that episode will get somewhere in the 7 million viewers range.  And while I’m still expecting the renewal notice any day, the show clearly can’t stand on its own anymore.


Quote of the Day

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish10

“Have you found any dirt on Mary Bailey?” – C.M. Burns
“Well, we’ve gone through her garbage.” – Garbologist
“We’ve talked to her maid.” – Mudslinger
“And so far the only negative thing we have found is from some guy who dated her when she was sixteen.” – Garbologist
“Ah, and?” – C.M. Burns
“He felt her up.” – Muckraker
“Bah, not good enough!” – C.M. Burns

Happy birthday Wes Archer!


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

The Mob Has Spoken

Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Ezra Estephan on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
PFC on Homeronymus Bosch
S on DVD Commentary: Crepes of Wrat…

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.