Posts Tagged ‘When Flanders Failed


Quote of the Day

When Flanders Failed3

“Marge, TV gives so much and asks so little.  It’s a boy’s best friend.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s the problem.  Even as we speak, millions of children are staring at the TV instead of getting some much needed exercise.  Those children’s parents should be ashamed of themselves.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Blocks of Ice

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user grahamc99.

“Akira, my good man, when do we break blocks of ice with our heads?” – Bart Simpson
“First you must fill your head with wisdom, then you can hit ice with it.” – Akira


Sly Cultural Reference, Yea or Nay?

When Flanders Failed2

I saw this on Boing Boing just now:

I’d never heard of “Hai Karate” as an aftershave, but the words instantly pinged the roughly 2/3 of my brain devoted to storing Simpsons quotes.  In Season 3’s “When Flanders Failed”, Akira’s closing line in his commercial is, “High karate, at low, low prices.”  A search of the episode pages on both SNPP and Wikipedia turned up nothing.  Despite a long “Pop Culture References” section, Wikipedia’s Hai Karate article does not mention Simpsons.  The question is: Was that an intentional reference? 

I’m inclined to say that it was.  The rather extensive list of pop culture appearances on Wikipedia means that Hai Karate was easily in/famous enough to merit a reference.  And Akira’s phrasing there has always sounded a little strange.  After all, what is “High Karate”?  (Other than a brilliant idea for a post-Prop 19 martial arts school in California.)  I get the juxtaposition with “low, low prices”, but it makes much more sense as that plus a cultural reference than it does as just a contrast with the prices. 

Add those things up and it doesn’t feel like a coincidence to me.  I could be wrong, of course, and I’m much too cowardly to assume that I found something that eluded both SNPP and Wikipedia all these years, so I submit this to the greater wisdom of the readership.  Sly reference, or coincidence? 

Note: Sure it’s fun to point and laugh at ye olde commercials like this one, but let’s not forget that in our time the Axe people have made untold millions with ads so similarly idiotic to this one that they might owe somebody a royalty check.  There, but for the grace of Hai Karate, go us all.


Quote of the Day

Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user alvy.

“Bart, how many hours a day do you watch teevee?” – Marge Simpson
“Six.  Seven if there’s something good on.” – Bart Simpson


Dying from Exposure

“What’s the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?” – Homer Simpson
“Sour grapes.” – Lisa Simpson
“Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.” – Homer Simpson

For whatever combination of reasons about half the posts on Twitter with the #simpsons tag are in German.  It peaks early in the afternoon here in the States, which must be when the reruns are on in Germany because right about then, every day, there’s an explosion of German language tweets with the #simpsons tag.  Since I don’t know German I usually just gloss over these, but today one caught my eye and led me to the Twitter feed of “cinderblock42” where this rather amusing series took place (remember, it’s a Twitter page so read up from the bottom):

Simpsons German Translation


Friday Link Dump – Left and Right Edition

Mmmm, sinister beer.

Mmmm, sinister beer.

Image used under CreativeCommons license from Flicker user mag3737.
“Friends, we love you all, but I also have a sinister motive for asking you all here.  Sinister being Latin for ‘left handed’.  But enough joking.” – Ned Flanders
“That was a joke?” – Homer Simpson

Season 12 comes out on DVD next week.  It already tastes like ash in my mouth.  Before that unpleasantness though we’ve got lots of excellent usage, the guy who does Homer’s French voice in Canada, a right winger who thinks Burns looks like Nancy Pelosi and some love for International Left Handed Day.

Woo-hoo! Québécois Homer Simpson is Groening’s favourite – This is a neat article about the guy who does Homer’s voice in Quebec.  Interesting tidbit, he’s also the French Canadian voices of  Robert de Niro, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, and Nick Nolte.

The Bigs 2 Review – It’s a review of a baseball video game that’s being released in Britain.  It quotes “Duffless” about how boring baseball can be when you’re sober.  The quote’s off in a few places but it’s pretty close.  Good usage.

Dispatches from the Front Porch – This post concludes with this:

One of my favorite Simpson’s lines is from an old episode where Bart is trying to woo a girl. At one point he’s blathering on clumsily as young boys often do in front of girls. This girl, who is a bit snotty, interrupts him dismissively saying, “Bart, do you ever think anything you don’t say?”
This line pops up for me now and then when I think about social media and especially status updates. Do we ever think things we don’t say (or post)? Should we? The sentiment was underscored in this SundayStyles article about no tweet no blog VIP parties.

One of my favorite Simpson’s lines is from an old episode where Bart is trying to woo a girl. At one point he’s blathering on clumsily as young boys often do in front of girls. This girl, who is a bit snotty, interrupts him dismissively saying, “Bart, do you ever think anything you don’t say?”

This line pops up for me now and then when I think about social media and especially status updates. Do we ever think things we don’t say (or post)? Should we? The sentiment was underscored in this SundayStyles article about no tweet no blog VIP parties.

The quote is slightly off (Jessica doesn’t address him as “Bart” there) but let me assure you that here at the Dead Homer Society, even with our stupid new Twitter feed, there is plenty we don’t say.  Good usage.

Multi-headed fish are the real life ‘Blinky’ – They’ve been finding multi-headed fish in the Noosa River in Australia.  Sadly I was unable to find any pictures.

Baby On Board – Not sure if it’s just a photoshop or a real sign (probably photoshop), but it’s got the Be Sharps.

Al Jean, “THE SIMPSONS” executive producer: Mr. Media Audio Interview – Short, almost completely pointless interview with Jean.  No demise of Zombie Simpsons is foreseen.

Nancy Pelosi & Montgomery Burns: Separated at Birth? – Burns is a Republican, but there is a certain resemblance in that photo.

Revisiting 8 Sesame Street Rumors – They cromulently quote Homer’s incoherent Muppet description from “A Fish Called Selma”.  Excellent usage.

Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns! – Yesterday was International Left Handers Day and this is a post with a bunch of quotes from “When Flanders Failed”.  All the quotes are correct, including the title, and now I’ve got an urge to watch that one.

Where lefties are always right – Speaking of south paws, here’s a real life Leftorium in San Francisco.  Oddly enough, the woman who runs it is right handed.

Homer Simpson’s 25 Favorite Inanimate Objects – This is an excellently random Simpsons list, especially since there’s nothing past Season 9.  (via The Tiniest of Things are Forever)

Poetry Hour – This is basically Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”, but it comes with some love at the end for Treehouse of Horror I.

Four Days – New mother feels weird leaving her kid for the first time.  Uses the power of Simpsons metaphor (Rancho Relaxo) to explain it all and properly quotes Homer in the process.  Excellent usage.

Today’s TV Addict Top 5: Faulty Faculty – Krabappel comes in at #3, though they misspell her name.  No mention of Skinner’s toadying momma’s boy act, the crushed spirit of Ms. Hoover or the mindless, beauty draining instruction of Mr. Largo.

The Top 5 TV Alcoholics – Barney checks in at #4 with this little piece of (mostly) awesome:

It’s essentially common knowledge that The Simpsons has gone down a slippery slope in recent years. It simply isn’t what it used to be; but at the same time, seems to be more successful than ever. One of the elements that the show lost in recent seasons was Barney being drunk! He was loud, obese, and woefully insignificant which was what made his character so endlessly enjoyable. So now, Mr. Gumble is no longer sucking quarters out of the jukebox, but instead advocating the time-honored tradition of quitting.

While I certainly agree that Barney’s decision to quit drinking (season 11, natch) sucked ass, why is this only “mostly” awesome?  Because Barney’s means of support was sucking quarters out of the Love Tester machine, not the jukebox.  But wait, I’m not done nitpicking.

#3 on the list is Norm Peterson from Cheers and while I’ve only ever seen about fifteen episodes of that show I’m pretty sure that this . . .

A man who needed his tab calculated by NASA

. . . is also from The Simpsons.  Specifically, it’s from “22 Short Stories About Springfield”.  (Google would seem to confirm that this was never on “Cheers”.)  Still, an amusing list, especially #1.  I never watched much of The Andy Griffith Show, but old teevee is often hilarious in its absurdities.

Daily Podcast: What’s In A Name? – Quoted in full because he gets the Simpsons right and I love his conclusion:

“People don’€™t want cars named after hungry old Greek broads! They want names like “€˜Mustang”€™ and “€˜Cheetah”€™ vicious animal names!”€ according to Homer Simpson’s automaker brother Herb. Yesterday I learned another good rule of thumb for car naming: if it doesn’t sound hilarious with the word “anal” in front of it, it’s probably not a great car name. Think about it… Commander, Wrangler and Legacy good; CTS, MKT and Optima bad. It may not be safe-for-work, but dammit it’s the truth.

I don’t know about that last one, “Anal Optima” or even “Optima Anal” doesn’t sound half bad.  Excellent usage.

Forgetting Sean Marshall – Unhappy Cubs fans are always comedy gold, especially when they quote Homer correctly about their own team:

This game sucked. It sucked from the first inning, when shark-face gave up 2 triples. It sucked when the Phillies put up 8 runs in an inning. It sucked when a douchbag in the bleachers decided to show everyone why Cubs fans are assholes. It sucks that I am writing a recap about how much it sucked while the sucky game is still going on. It sucks that the Cardinals keep winning. In the words of Homer Simpson: That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Excellent usage and excellent catharsis.

In the worlds of Homer Simpson, “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.” – That’s some fast acting excellent usage, got it all right in the title.  (The actual post is about how vapidly stupid the American press is.)

Change That We Can ALL Believe In – Amidst a long post about what TV shows he would bring back were he president and discussions of Michael Jackson we get this:

It’s like that scene from “The Simpsons” where Homer goes to Krusty Klown Kollege* and becomes a regional Krusty. Unbeknownst to the Millhouse family, they hire him thinking that they got the real Krusty. Bart knows different, which leads to perhaps one of the greatest exchanges in Simpsons history:

Millhouse: Surprised Bart? My dad got Krusty the Klown for my birthday.
Bart: Oh. I’m sure I could do that too.
Millhouse: I don’t know Bart, my dad’s a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory.

He also refers to that episode as criminally underrated.  Not by us.


Quote of the Day

When Flanders Failed1

“‘Keep that handsome owner out of sight, he’s distracting the female employees.’  Smithers.” – C.M. Burns

“Got me sir.” – Mr. Smithers

“Ohh, it’s a real one.  ‘No more apples in the vending machine please!!’  Well, that’s almost a sentence.” – C.M. Burns


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.