Quote of the Day


“Is this the one with the lazy sperm?” – C.M. Burns
“Mmm-hmm.” – Mr. Smithers
“Ah, Simpson! You big, virile son of a gun!” – C.M. Burns

Sorry for the late quote.


Quote of the Day

Homer the Smithers14

“I’ll have my lunch, now: a single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast, and a dodo egg.” – C.M. Burns
“But I think the dodo went extinct.” – Homer Simpson
“Get going! And answer those phones, install a computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay . . . um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

In Marge We Trust18

“I’m in some hot soup here, Marge. Some teenagers are hanging out in front of the store. I think they could start slacking at any moment.” – Ned Flanders


Quote of the Day

Deep Space Homer14

“Only one of you will be chosen to go into space, so the next few weeks will be a grueling series of tests to determine which one of you is most qualified.” – NASA Administrator
“Oh, and Mr. Gumble, for the duration of the training there’ll be no more beer.” – NASA Scientist
“What? Three whole weeks with only wine? I’ll go crazy!” – Barney Gumble


Quote of the Day

Lard of the Dance7

“Attention, please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. . . . Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson’s? Thank you, Lisa.” – Principal Skinner


Quote of the Day

The Last Temptation of Krust12

“Mom, these are at least two sizes too big.” – Lisa Simpson
“Perfect, you’ll grow into them.” – Marge Simpson
“When?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, you’re both way overdue for a spurt.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day


“Well, Seymour, it seems we’ve put together a baseball team. And I was wondering, who’s on first?” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of Who is on first.” – Principal Skinner
“Well that’s just great, Seymour, we’ve been out here six seconds and you’ve already managed to blow the routine! . . . Sexless freak.” – Superintendent Chalmers


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